Duplicity
by xSweetSouthx
Summary: Jace & Clary have hated each other since they met as children. Now, as adults, they put aside their differences in an effort to save Jace's family business and get Clary the funding she needs start hers, by tricking an investor into believing they're married. But is it really all just an act of duplicity, or so much more? AU/All Human.
1. Prologue

~Prologue~

As a single 27 year old woman, I'd say that I'm pretty content with my life. I have no tragic childhood story to tell, no whining and crying over things I've never had. No, if anything it was the complete opposite.

See, I grew up with the picture perfect example of the modern middle class family. Three bedroom house in the suburbs, two cars, two loving parents who had 2.5 children...if you're willing to count our rescue mutt Revus as the half. And as is typical with families these days, those loving parents eventually divorced when I was 8, though they claim to still love each other, just not enough to be married.

My mom ended up marrying her and my dad's best friend Luke when I was 10 and now we're all one big happy family. I'm not even joking. Every Sunday the family gathers together for this great big dinner that rivals most family's Thanksgiving or Easter meals. And on those days, you can find me, my brother Jon, his wife and two kids, our mom Jocelyn, our dad Valentine, and our step-dad Luke seated around the table with Revus securing a spot at our feet to act as the vacuum for any dropping food...which there is guaranteed to be plenty of with my niece and nephew having recently entered the "throwing food phase" of toddler-hood.

That's not to say my life has been without any trials...I've experienced true heartbreak, once...and it was a doozy. But that was my own mistake in thinking that it would be a good idea to graduate with the absurd plan to let my high school sweetheart take care of me instead of going to college. Lot of good that did me when just three days before our fully planned wedding I found him in bed with none other than the preachers daughter. Needless to say, all those promises of giving me the world were nothing but lies. I dumped his ass and swore off men for good several months later when I realized that I can make myself happier than any man ever could.

Of course, I couldn't have gotten through any of it without my best friend, and roommate Izzy. It hasn't been easy, but we make it through and live comfortably despite our tiny little two bedroom apartment in a shady part of town. We could afford better, but saving to start our own business means cracking down on frivolous spending and lots of double shifts at the diner where I work. There's only one thing I hate more than those double shifts...Izzy's adopted brother Jace.

Seeing him when I opened the door to our apartment after one of those shifts, I should have known everything was about to go to hell, I just didn't think he'd be taking me with him.

* * *

Short, yes...the rest of the chapters are much longer though. And, I'll be posting Ch. 1 immediately after this so you won't have to wait for a little bit more of the story.

Disclaimer: Cassandra Claire owns any and all references to TMI and its characters...I'm just taking them for a spin around the block.


	2. Chapter 1

~Chapter 1~

"Izzy, what the hell is he doing here?" I ask, scowling as I drop the keys into the basket on the table by the doorway. Pulling my scarf from around my neck I stomp into the living room where they're standing and whispering conspiratorially. If the beer cans strewn across our makeshift coffee table is any sign, he's been here for hours...which is exactly what she promised wouldn't happen when I moved in here.

"Oh come on Shorty, you know you've missed me, been pining over me...don't tell me you don't have torrid dreams about me" He says with a smirk as he's leaning into my personal space, his breath washing over my face.

I can't help but scrunch up my nose at the stench of the beer coming from him. Yep, if I had to guess, he's been here since I left this morning. "Not in your wildest dreams, Jace...Izzy, really, what is he doing here?"

She's still just standing there staring at me, biting her manicure, and I know it's serious because that girl would never come close to messing up her perfect nails for anything else.

"Seriously, did someone die?" I ask, quirking a brow at them.

Finally, she speaks. "No, but you remember that time when I did that thing for you, and you said that you'd owe me forever?"

"Really, Iz, that was what...ten years ago? What the hell could be so important that you need to pull that out? You know I'd do just about anything for you."

"I'm glad...I'm really happy to hear that Clary, because I need a favor from you, and it's big...like really big, and you may even want to kill me when I say it."

"Oh, come on it can't be that bad" I smile at her as I pour a glass of wine for myself, then pull my heeled boots off and toss them over by the couch.

"I need you to marry Jace"

Before I can even formulate a response to that, I drop my glass, not caring in the slightest that these are the furthest from stain resistant carpets you can get and red wine is a bitch to get out.

"Um...excuse me, what?" I laugh heartily, knowing that I must be hearing things "I could swear you just said you need me to marry Jace"

I probably sound like a hyena, my laugh ending up somewhere between laughter and straight out hyperventilation. Somewhere it registers that Jace is on the floor blotting up the spilled wine and pouring me another glass, but all I can think about is that I need to sit down before this conversation goes any further.

Making my way over to the couch, just in front of where Jace has set my wine glass, and I look up...back and forth between the two of them who are looking at each other as if they're having some kind of silent argument over which of them gets to explain how we've gotten to this point.

It's apparent that Jace has lost that challenge when I see him clenching his fists open and closed and then flops in the chair to my left with a loud sigh.

"Okay, listen...it's not a favor for Isabelle...it would be a favor for me. She's just willing to give the favor you owe her to me to save my ass."

"Yeah, I'm still not understanding"

"Dammit, I'm getting there, just hush" he says, running his hands through his hair before settling his elbows on his knees.

I take a big sip of my wine and roll my hand in the air to get him to continue. There's no way in hell I'm doing it, but I'm still curious to see what his game is.

"So, there's this investor. Wait...I need to backup. The business, Herondale Investments, it's...it's not doing so great. My dad leaving the business to Michael Wayland to watch over for me until I was old enough was a huge mistake. We're losing more and more ground to Verlac every day"

At the name being spoken, I can't help but narrow my eyes into a glare at Jace. He might not hang around much, but I thought it was pretty clear that that name is a 6 letter word that is never to be used in my presence again.

"I fail to see how this is my problem"

"It's not...but the thing is, I can take back that ground. In fact, I can put him out of business"

Now that has me perking up a bit. The bastard truly doesn't deserve a thing he's got so if I can participate in his demise, I might just agree to this asinine plan. Wait...the plan is to marry Jace, yeah...not happening.

"And how do you plan to do that?" I ask, incredulously, knowing that someone with that kind of money and those kind of connections can rarely be taken down.

"Well, there's this investor...Starkweather... and he's shown a lot of interest in the company. If I can get him on board, I'll have more money, and more connections than that jackass could ever dream of. After that, flushing him out of New York should be child's play" he says, leaning back and cracking open another beer.

"Now, where do I fit in to this?" I ask with a laugh.

"That's the thing...this Starkweather guy, he's really old fashioned. A big proponent of family business. He knows that the company was passed on from my father to me, that I've got my sister working with me. So I may have played up the whole family thing when we spoke."

I suddenly feel like I'm going to be sick. I have a feeling I know exactly where this is going and I'm not going to like it one bit.

"Sooo..."

"So, I have to fly to Costa Rica for a month and he's, well, he's expecting me to show up with a wife" he says with a big smile on his face, like the thought of the biggest bachelor ever, Jace Herondale, with a wife is the most natural thing in the world.

I can't hold back the laughter and am nearly falling off the couch trying to catch my breath.

"Come on Clary, tell me what you think" Jace says, leaning over trying to get a better look at the reaction on my face.

The laughing stops abruptly and I sit up and take another big sip of the wine before speaking.

"I think you've completely lost your damn mind if you think I'm going to marry you and help you fix a situation you created when you decided to tell that poor man that you were anything other than the pompous, egotistical, self-aggrandizing, man whore that you actually are" I say, slamming my glass back down on the table.

"Whew, who bought you a thesaurus?" I hear him mumble as he crosses his arms over his chest.

Izzy turns and looks at him, still biting on her nails. "You're not helping, Jace" she says before turning to me. "Please Clary, please do this for him. If you don't he's going to lose the company. You know what that would mean."

I look over at Jace and see he's got his eyes clenched shut and is shaking his head. Clearly, he didn't want to let me in on just how bad off they were. I've hated the boy since the day I met him...like truly loathed everything about him. But, Izzy has on more than one occasion reminded me that Herondale Investments is literally all he has left from his parents that died when he was just a little boy. It's got me second guessing my refusal to help. Not because I actually give a crap about him, but if I put myself in his position...yeah, lets just say I'm not a completely heartless bitch. Though it still doesn't explain why they need me to do it when he's got any number of women throwing themselves at his feet.

"Can't you find someone else to do it?" I ask, rubbing at my temples trying to ease the rapidly growing headache there.

"If you mean one of the girls that I sleep with, no, I don't trust any of them to be able to pull it off"

"What about Maia" I suggest.

"I brought it up with Jordan at poker the other night and he said that he would do things to my balls that would ensure I can never reproduce if I even thought about asking her"

I smirk at that "Yeah, I don't have a problem with that"

"Clary!" Izzy yells, shocked that I'd be that bold.

"Why can't you just take Izzy...change her name, they'll never know it's your sister...you're nothing alike."

"Yeah, no can do Shorty, they know her voice...and I need someone here to manage the office while I'm gone."

"Why can't Michael do that?"

"Because he's what got us into this position of needing an investor in the first place. I mean really, when the hell have you ever heard of an investment company, needing an investor...the man's a loon."

When I finally realize that he actually is out of options, I raise from the couch and start pacing in front of the tv. Now they've got me chewing on my nails...well, at least I don't pay $30 to have them done.

"So, if I do this...what's in it for me?" Not to sound like one of 'those' people, because I'm generally not someone who expect something in return for giving things...but this was asking quite a lot of me. I've got to spend a month, on an island, away from my family and friends and my job, which might not even still be here when I get back, all with a person that I've spent a good majority of my life despising. You bet your ass I'm going to want something in return for that.

"You mean other than the pleasure of being able to call yourself Mrs. Herondale and walk around with me hanging on your arm..." Jace states with a smirk.

This is a really bad idea. I'm going to end up killing him.

"Jace" Izzy states, clearly exasperated "can you at least try to be serious for a minute...just tell her what you can do for her"

"Alright, here's the deal Shorty...we go to Costa Rica act like the perfectly happy married couple and impress the man, he invests, we come back and get the marriage annulled...we'll come up with an excuse, you found another man, whatever, I don't care. In return, I'll invest in this silly little business you and Izzy want to start...and by invest, I mean fully. I'll give you the money to start it up, and keep it running until you are making a profit, as well as making sure that you're taking home a decent enough paycheck to be able to move out of this hell hole and into a better part of town where you belong" he said, looking around and scrunching his nose up in disgust at our surroundings.

Jace never was the subtle type, but I don't remember him being quite so stuck up. But I guess that's what money and power do to you. It corrupts your soul. It happened with Sebastian, and it seems to have happened to Jace. Surprising since they came from very honest, humble upbringings...all of us growing up within a few blocks of each other in rather average homes, our parents all having pretty average jobs. My dad is a mortgage lender at the local bank, and my mom is an art teacher at the community college...and Jace's adoptive parents, Mayrse and Robert are both teachers, one at the elementary and one at the high school. Even Sebastian, who's father was rich and powerful was grounded by his mother who was a nurse that worked long hours but still always managed to find time for him while his father was off gallivanting around the world.

"I'm sure there was a compliment in there somewhere" I scoffed, at his implication that I deserve better living arrangements. Not that I have ever really complained about our current one. It's really old and run down, and a hot shower lasts 15 minutes tops before you're standing frozen like a popsicle, but it's affordable.

"Well?" Izzy said, waving her hands around in a display of her impatience.

I close my eyes and sigh "I just know I'm going to regret this, but I guess the only thing left to ask is, when's the wedding?"


	3. Chapter 2

I swear, the shriek that came out of Isabelle at my acceptance of their plan was enough to wake up the dead and had both Jace and I covering our ears.

"Crap, Iz, you're going to wake up everyone in the damn building." I hissed at her, and she just smirked at me, hands on her hips and sticking her tongue out at me. Leave it to Iz to inject a little childishness into every situation. I'm convinced the girl wholeheartedly believes in that 'I don't wanna grow up' song from those annoying toy store commercials.

Jace groaned "Oh dear God, Iz, if you woke up that Dorthea lady, I'm gonna kill you."

I turned and looked at him shocked at his mention of my neighbor, who was by all rights, more than a little insane. "How the hell do you know Dorthea?"

"Well, there was this one time..." he started to explain when Izzy clapped loudly, pulling our attention away from the conversation. It was definitely something I'd have to ask him about later. Might as well save it for this stupid trip, I'm sure there will be more than one occasion where I need to find something to talk to him about...I might as well start saving up topics now.

"You're getting off track. Now, the wedding will be Sunday, which gives us three days to pull this together. Tomorrow, the two of you will go get the marriage license. Right after we'll meet for lunch and make plans...colors, flowers, cake and where you want to have it, then, after that Clary...you and I will be going to get your wedding dress..." Izzy rambled on and I was beginning to get lightheaded at all of the information. What the hell is she thinking, don't we just need to get the license and have someone that's qualified to do so say 'okay you're married'?

"Um...Iz?" I said, putting my head in my hands, shaking it to try and get a clear thought "You do realize this isn't a real wedding? Can't we just, I don't know, get the license tomorrow and then wait the 24 hours and go Friday to the courthouse?"

"But Clary" Izzy whined "you have to let me do this. At the rate you're going it's the only time you'll ever actually get married, please just let me have my fun this once."

I heard Jace chuckling and looked over at him. There was a smirk on his face and he was shaking his head trying to hold in the laughter. "You're seriously not going to say anything to her about this?"

His hands went up "Don't look at me, I've never been one to argue with her and win, if you have then good luck"

Great, so I wasn't going to get any help from him.

"Iz, if you remember, you've already had your fun once, and we saw how that ended. I don't see why it's even necessary. We're only going to be married a little over a month and it will be over. You tortured me enough the first time, I don't really want to deal with it again."

Okay, so it hadn't exactly been torture, I loved every minute of planning my wedding to Sebastian, but I figure why not try using guilt to get out of having to have a wedding this time.

"Yes, okay, so I got to plan that other...wedding...but it never happened so you never got to see all of our hard work on display. Besides, what better way to convince Starkweather that your marriage isn't some sham, than by being able to show off wedding pictures."

"No way Iz, I never agreed to pictures" Jace interjected, standing up and glaring at her. Wait a minute...he never agreed? Wasn't this whole thing his idea?

"Whoa, whoa, hold up" I said, looking back and forth between the two of them "I thought this was your idea, Jace, so what was there to agree to?"

He just shrugged and started pacing the floor. "It wasn't my idea exactly. I told Izzy what happened, and she was the one who came up with the idea for us to get married before the trip."

At this point, I felt like I was about to have a nervous breakdown, and started drinking the wine straight from the bottle as I sunk further down into the couch. Yeah, Jace may have made the mistake of alluding to him being married, but this whole damn thing was Isabelle's idea. My "best friend" pretty much sold me out and came up with a grand plan to marry me off to her brother, who she knows I can't stand. I'm not sure if I should be pissed off, or just feel betrayed. Who does that!? She knew after the last time, that I had sworn off men and said that I would never waste my time getting married, and still she thought that this would be a good idea.

"But I thought you said that you had tried other options, like Maia...how did that happen if Izzy's idea was for you and I to get married?" I questioned, realizing that there must be some detail that I'm missing.

"Ha!" Jace said animatedly "You think I would ever want to marry you? Shit the second she dropped your name I said hell no, I'll find someone else. It just so happens there isn't anyone else which is why I'm standing here in your living room. Trust me Shorty, the last thing I want is to be tied to you, legally or any other way."

"Oh" I said, getting up from the couch and making my way down the hall to my room. I went in and silently closed the door behind me, taking a deep breath trying to will the tears away that were springing to my eyes. It was no use. The more I tried to stop myself from crying, the more the tears fell. I swore I'd never, ever cry another tear over a man and yet here I was a blubbering mess. I slid to the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees hugging them to myself as the sobs continued to wrack through me.

It wasn't that Jace didn't want to marry me that had me in tears, we were definitely on the same page there. It was the words he chose to use...the same words Sebastian said when he broke things off with me.

_I stood there, staring at my wedding dress, hanging from the hook on my closet door. Sebastian stormed into my room, slamming the door. _

"_Just go, Seb, get out of here. I can't even look at you without seeing her all over you" _

"_What the hell do you want from me Clarissa?"_

_I shivered at the use of my full name. I hated that name, and he knew it. Now, he was just trying to pour salt in an open wound, as if this was all my fault. _

_Wrapping my arms around myself, I tried to choke back the tears while I spoke. "I want to know why. Why would you do this, why her, why am I not enough for you?" _

"_Dammit, you know I never wanted any of this crap" he said, walking over and flinging my dress off the hook and in my face where it hit before falling to the floor in a pile of silk, lace and crystals. _

"_I never wanted to marry you Clarissa, the last thing I want is to be tied to you, legally or any other way. I should have dropped your ass back in high school when you made me wait a year before letting me fuck you. But what the hell, I was young and liked a challenge. It just so happened that you were pretty damn good in bed so I kept you around, but honey, don't delude yourself into thinking I ever loved you, you were just a guaranteed fuck in the instance that I couldn't find myself satisfied elsewhere. _

_I couldn't move, frozen in place watching our reflections in the full length mirror on the closet door as he came up behind me. He pulled my hair to the side and was placing kisses up and down my neck, sucking on my skin as he came to the sensitive curve between my neck and shoulder. His one hand trailed across my stomach, gently tracing patterns there where the skin was exposed from my tied up shirt. I couldn't help but think about how ironic it was that he was touching me there in such a loving manner. If only he knew. His other hand was methodically unbuttoning the buttons of my shirt, and untying the knot just below them before sliding it off of my shoulders and onto the floor._

_I knew what was coming next and I just couldn't bring myself to stop it. He may be breaking me, ripping my heart out and smashing it into a million tiny pieces by telling me that all the times he swore he loved me, and would give me the world was nothing but lies...but the only thing I could seem to keep thinking over and over was that I've loved this man for the last seven years and I'm not ready to let him go. All rational thought left my head the moment he unbuttoned and unzipped my denim shorts, and pushed his hand down, stroking me until I felt like my knees would give out they were so weak. Him whispering in my ear. "Do you even have any idea how many times I fucked you after having just left someones bed? So, so many times my dear Clarissa...I don't see why our last time should be any different."_

_It was then that I probably had the best and worst sex of my life. As good as it was, being with someone who you had slept with so many times that they knew instinctively just what to do to drive you completely out of your mind with pleasure, knowing that it would be the last time his hands would ever touch me like that made it almost painful. _

_And as we both laid there next to each other afterward, completely spent and staring at the ceiling, I couldn't find a single tear to cry. I still just wanted to know why. _

"_Why did you propose if you didn't want to marry me?" I asked, surprised that my voice managed to hold steady. _

"_If you really must know, I could see you pulling away from me, flirting with other men. I figured proposing would secure your place in my bed for at least a couple more years. And if there's one thing you should always keep in mind... I may not want you, Clarissa, but you will never belong to anyone else." _

I was brought out of my memories by a soft knock on the door behind me. Having no interest in seeing or speaking to anyone after having remembered the worst day of my life, I just continued to sit there in the dark, completely silent, once again with no tears left to cry.

After several minutes of not answering, I finally heard Jace speak, quietly...almost as if he was hoping I wouldn't hear him. "I'm sorry, Clary, I didn't know...and I didn't mean it that way. I guess...I guess I'll just see you tomorrow morning"

Ahh...tomorrow morning, the beginning of a month of living in hell, married to a man who wants me even less than my pathetic excuse of an ex-fiance. At least this time, the feeling is mutual.


	4. Chapter 3

~Jace~

I hate Clary Morgenstern.

And no, this isn't one of those 'Oh I claim to hate her but I've been in love with her forever' deals. I truly hate the girl.

When I was a small child, I remember that someone...I think it may have been my Sunday School teacher...told me that hate was a strong word and to be careful using it because it would hurt me more than it would the other person. Well, Miss whatever your name was, I'm sorry to say but in this case you're wrong, and it applies.

Though I'm not entirely sure the basis of the hatred I have for her, or that she has for me. It pretty much started the day I met her when I was dropped off at the Lightwoods by my social worker when I was eight. I remember so vividly, her standing there next to Isabelle staring at me with these wide green eyes that made me so uncomfortable that I had to look away. It wasn't that she was being mean, as much as it was that it felt like she was trying to see all the way into the depths of my soul. The one that had been all but burnt and scorched away with the death of my parents. I didn't even want to be there, let alone let anyone see that part of me, and yet no matter how hard I tried it felt like she was just dragging it out of me without having to say a word.

We never got along after that.

For years we taunted and teased each other mercilessly, and I'm pretty sure that I did a superb job of making her life hell in school by getting all the "cool kids" to pick on her. Whether it was because of her red hair, the freckles, how short and skinny she was, because her mom married the man she had always called 'uncle', because she liked art...pick a reason, I'd used them all against her.

Not that she didn't push right back with the endless number of pranks she pulled on me, and crap she did that ended up getting me in trouble. The worst being when she had convinced Seelie Queen, student council president and goody two-shoes on her way to being valedictorian, to say that I was the one who knocked her up instead of having to admit that she got drunk at a party she wasn't supposed to be at and had no clue who the father was. It was in no way the truth, but of course being the football captain and well known school player when it came to the ladies, everyone assumed that it was true...including my adoptive parents Mayrse and Robert.

It wasn't until the baby came out looking decidedly Asian, that she was forced to apologize and admit that she was pretty sure that the baby's daddy was Eddie Chang, who was our schools resident druggie that prided himself on being held back twice and having the lowest possible GPA. Not the finest moment for her when she got lectured on wasted potential and having attempted to destroy the potential of someone that wasn't even involved.

Clary never caught the blow back on that one. I'm not sure why, or how, but it never ended up coming out that it was her idea in the first place and as much as I wanted her to pay for it...I kept my mouth shut, just happy for the whole thing to be over with.

I've managed to pretty much avoid being around her unless necessary since then, which is why when I told Izzy what happened with Starkweather and she claimed to have the 'perfect idea' for me and Clary to get married before I went for the meetings, I told her that it would be a cold day in hell before I would ever marry Clary.

Though now, sitting here in their living room listening to them bicker back and forth over whether Clary needed to dress up or not to go get our marriage license, I can't help but feel bad for saying what I did to her last night. If I had even the slightest idea that those were the words Sebastian used when he broke things off with her, I would have never said it. There's a big difference in hating someone and wanting to hurt someone. And hurting Clary was never part of my plans.

I knew that the wedding had been called off, but never bothered to ask any details because I just didn't care. But now that Izzy told me, I'm surprised that the girl seems to be as well adjusted as she is. I have to give her credit for being able to bounce back and move on with her life like she has, and considering the fact that she's about to save my ass, be thankful for the fact that at least she's still a free woman.

"Izzy, come on, it doesn't matter what she looks like, can we just go already" I yelled down the hall getting irritated at the hold up...which apparently was currently centered around whether it was appropriate or not for Clary to wear sneakers.

Suddenly I see Clary dash down the hallway towards me where she quickly hides behind my back as I'm leaning against the corner of the wall between the living room and the hallway. Just as I see Izzy coming out of Clary's room twisting something around on her fingers, Clary grips the back of my shirt and whispers "hide me".

"What's the matter Shorty?"

"She's coming after me with the eyelash curler...I swear it's a form of torture, make it stop."

Being the classy asshole that I am, I laugh with a smirk as I step away from her. "She's right here Izzy."

It's a good thing that lasers can't shoot out of someone's eyes, because I'm pretty sure with the glare Clary's giving me right now, this entire town would burn to ashes.

"Jackass" she mumbles, as she steps away from the wall waiting patiently as Izzy comes around the corner, curler in hand before she holds Clary's head in place while she works her magic. She looks absolutely no different than she did before Izzy did...whatever it was she just did...but the utter look of discomfort on her face was rather satisfying.

Hey, I may feel bad about what I said last night, doesn't mean I'm going to suddenly start being nice to the chick. Not that the whole ordeal could have been that bad...she seems to have mostly gotten her way since she's in a casual pair of black jeans, with a cream colored sweater and some boots, when I'm sure Izzy probably had a fancy dress laid out for her. Which would have left me woefully under-dressed since I've just got on a pair of black jeans, a black long sleeve shirt, and my leather jacket. It may be the beginning of spring, but this cold snap just doesn't seem to want to end.

"Are we ready now?" I ask, heading towards the door.

"Yep, just let me get my purse and the camera!" Izzy yells, running back to her room.

"Izzy, we don't need freakin pictures of us picking up a piece of paper" Clary says, rolling her eyes as she comes to stand next to me, eying me up and down.

"See something you like, Shorty?"

"Ugh, not in your wildest dreams Herondale" she spits out my name with disgust.

"Oh sweetheart" I say, putting my hands against the wall on each side of her, backing her up against the wall with my body, "might want to watch your tone, that is after all going to be your name for the next month...better get used to it"

I'm endlessly amused by the blush that creeps up her cheeks at our close proximity and the way I whisper the words in her ear. What can I say, I'm a guy and my ego is only boosted more by the fact that I can affect a girl who holds only hatred for me.

We're interrupted by Isabelle clearing her throat. When we both look over at her, we're blinded by the flash of the camera.

"What the hell!?" I yell, reaching out to grab the camera from her hands, just as she stashes it in her bag.

"That one's for the grand-kids...now let's go" She says, pushing us out the door and down the hall until Clary stops dead in her tracks a few steps away from the stairs.

I look back at her to see what she's doing and she's standing there wide eyed, a look of complete horror on her face.

"Izzy..." she says, seething "you never said a damn thing about children"

Izzy laughs, grabbing her arm and pulling her along "Relax Shortcake, I was kidding."

After a ridiculously long line at the court clerk's office obtaining the license, which took much longer than necessary in part due to Izzy and her insistence on taking a hundred different pictures, we made our way to Taki's for lunch. Our order hadn't been placed for more than a minute when Izzy started in on the wedding planning.

I was sitting next to Clary in the booth, with Izzy sitting across from us...a big binder full of magazines and papers flipped open between us, a pink legal pad at the ready for all of her notes. So typical of Isabelle.

"Okay, now, I'm going to ask questions and you two just feel free to answer them. If you disagree on something, we'll come back to it. First things first, where do we want to have the wedding?"

"Does it matter?" Clary asked, sipping at her sweet tea "I mean, it's not like we can be picky when we only have until Sunday"

"Jace?" Isabelle asked, looking up at me in question.

"Rooftop garden at the office" I said, a grin on my face, knowing that Izzy had probably already thought of that.

"You have a garden at work? Isn't it going to be too cold?" Clary looked at me, incredulously.

The garden had been my mothers pet project and had been completely abandoned after her and my fathers death. Michael had no idea it existed so he didn't know to take care of it. But the fleeting memories of sitting out there rolling a ball around while my mother babbled on and on about the different types of flowers had never left my mind. It was the very first place I went when the business was handed over to me, one week after graduation.

"Yes, I do. And no, I already checked, it's supposed to be sunny and 70 degrees ...next" I motioned for Izzy to continue.

"Colors" Izzy, said with a bright smile on her face.

Knowing where she planned on going with that if we didn't specify, I quickly blurted out "anything but pink"...at exactly the same time as Clary. At least we agree on that much.

Izzy jotted it down on the paper, furrowing her brows in concentration. "Alright, flowers"

Once again, Clary and mines answers were simultaneous. "Chrysanthemums". We both looked at each other and laughed briefly before I turned back and noticed Isabelle rolling her eyes at us.

"Next on the list...reception or no reception...since it's going to be small and last minute I wasn't sure..." Izzy was interrupted by Clary as she put her hand up to keep me from talking.

"No reception. There's no way in hell I'm going to put on a freaking happy face and dance around with this asshole just so that you can have a few pictures...the wedding itself is bad enough."

"Alright fine" Izzy said with a sigh "I guess we're done for now then."

"Well, hold on a minute" Clary said, putting her hand over Izzy's binder to keep her from closing it. "What about the cake. If I have to marry him, I'm at least getting a damn cake"

Izzy let out a little chuckle... "Oh, don't worry, the cake will be a surprise, but will be exactly the flavors that are your favorites. Once we're done dress shopping, I'll deal with that."

Gathering all of her things together, she whisked Clary out of the booth announcing that they were on the hunt for a wedding gown, but that I wasn't welcome because it's bad luck to see the bride in her gown before the wedding. I had to laugh at her and how seriously she was taking this whole thing. As if luck would matter, it was a fake marriage, what the hell did we need luck for?

* * *

_**Thank you all so much for your reviews...I may just have to update twice today. Not promising it will always be like that since I have other stories going as well, but since you're all super awesome and all, I can spoil you just this once. **_

_**Aubrey Kelly & - Yep, definitely not your typical arranged marriage story, more like...marriage of convenience. Glad you are both enjoying it, and yes, Sebastian is an ass. **_

_**KyKat- I know, it was a little disappointing, but when you've been with someone so long and it ends, sometimes it takes a while for the rational mind to catch up to everything. I know I didn't make it super clear in the chapter, but it was the same day she caught him. Had it been several days or a week later, I have no doubt she probably would have slapped the hell out of him, lol. As for things looking up...guess you'll just have to wait and see :)**_

_**Keep reviewing and let me know your favorite parts, I love hearing what you all think! Look for the next chapter upload in about 8 hours or so. **_


	5. Chapter 4

By the time we reached the fourth bridal store, I was completely exhausted, and pretty sure that I was developing blisters on my feet from my boots. Not that Izzy cares, since she's waist deep in a sea of satin and tulle. I've already warned her though, that if she doesn't find something here, then I'm just going to wear the same champagne colored dress that I wore to prom. Not that I thought I could actually still fit in it, being that I was blessed with a post graduation growth spurt of two inches, and an additional 25 pounds added to my hips and boobs...finally giving me some curves, instead of looking like a barely developed 13 year old.

"Okay, try these on" Izzy came from the back room, holding a stack of dresses between her arms and frantically tossing them on my lap as she ran back through a different door. I'm lifting up each bag and unzipping them, looking them over before zipping them back up and hanging them on a rack on the wall. Nothing has caught my eye. Probably because I don't care to wear a damn dress at all, let alone a stupid wedding dress, for a stupid wedding I don't even want to have.

If I didn't know any better, I'd think that I had a guardian angel to answer my prayers as Izzy comes bursting through the door she exited. "Stop, don't touch any of the others...I found it. It's your size and was in the petites section and everything so we might be able to get away without having to do a ton of alterations or slapping 8" heels on your feet." She holds the dress up, unzipping and pulling it from the bag, and it's all I can do to stifle a laugh. I already know without trying it on that this is going to be the most hideous looking dress she could have possibly found for me, and I'm tempted to ask her if she's joking. But my fears that she'll go back to making me try on more dresses, I grab the one in her hands and take it to the dressing room and change into it.

Looking into the mirror as I step out and onto the small, round platform, I plaster a wholly fake smile on my face. "It's great Isabelle, let's get it and go"

She sighs with triumph, pushing me back into the changing room. "So, Clare-bear," she says, projecting her voice over the stall "what should we tell the parents about Sunday?"

My eyes widen and my hands dampen with sweat, making it nearly impossible to get the damn zipper down. Shit...my parents, I hadn't even thought of that. The only thing I can do is groan in response as I finally get the damn thing undone and get my clothes back on. Opening the door once again, I see her flitting about the store grabbing what looks like a veil and a pair of heels...which are thankfully, small.

"Iz, there's no way we're inviting them to the wedding, you know how they are, and you know what they would think. I'm not dealing with that...and you know your mom and dad feel the same way my parents do. I just want you, me, Jace, Simon, Alec & Magnus there. Wait...Magnus is ordained through that internet church thingy isn't he, can't he marry us?"

"Magnus has already agreed to do it." She says, handing the girl behind the counter a credit card.

I smile with relief, with Magnus as officiant, at least we're guaranteed a humorous wedding...which is the most I can ask for at this point.

"Here, come sign this" she says, pointing to the slip. I look back at her, puzzled at what she's talking about.

"Huh?"

"You've gotta come sign the card slip, it's got your name on it."

"What do you mean it's got my name on it?" I say, arching my brow at her as I step up to the counter, taking the card from her outstretched hand and glancing down at it. Sure enough, imprinted across the front is _Clary M. Herondale_

"Please, tell me you're joking right now."

"Darling, two things I never joke about...money and shopping, now sign the slip so we can get out of here."

I shake my head but lean on the counter to sign my name.

It isn't until we've left the bridal salon, and picked up some coffee and scones at Starbucks when I realize with a start that I've now signed 'Clary M. Herondale' twice without even a hesitance...as if it's the name I've been signing for years. The chill that runs up my spine has me hyperventilating at the thought.

Izzy whirls around, seeing me in distress. "Oh, hell...Clary, what's wrong, what do you need."

"I...need...air" I get out between gasping breaths, bending forward with my hands on my knees as I'm trying to calm myself down.

"Okay, just breathe...deep breaths...let's get you calmed down, and get home. You've got lots of packing to do"

Her words make me look up at her with wide eyes as my breathing starts to get frantic again.

"Sorry, sorry...wrong thing to say." She says, flinging her arms around, pushing people out of the way around us on the sidewalk trying to make our way back to our building.

When we finally do and she has me sitting on the couch, a glass of water in my hands I finally start to calm down.

"What the hell was that Clare, I haven't seen you like that since high school"

"I don't know Iz, I think I'm just getting overwhelmed with this whole getting married thing."

"Yeah, but you know it's not real, and that you're getting it annulled right after you get back, so what triggered it?" she asks, rubbing my back trying to comfort me.

The gesture is sweet, but right now I feel on edge and I pull away from her, standing on the other side of the table where I start pacing. As my best friend, I want to tell her, so that she can help me rationalize the thoughts. On the other hand, telling her the truth might only push her even further into the wedding craziness. Granted, she's not nearly as bad as my mom and dad, or her & Jace's parents but she comes a close second to them with her beliefs that Jace and I were always 'meant to be' and all that bullshit. I have no doubt that thought is what played into her suggesting that he marry me in the first place.

"Okay, If I tell you what happened. I need you to just listen, and help me rationalize. I don't need you going off on a long winded tangent, that I'm sure I'm going to have to hear all over again when I tell my parents what's going down this weekend"

She's got a smirk on her face, and I know that she's probably already realized exactly what I'm talking about. Chances are, I won't get out of this without another lecture, but I guess I'm just going to have to grin and bear it, just like everything else having to do with this crazy plan. But since going through with it means I finally get to start my business, three years earlier than expected, I'm going to have to just live with it.

"My lips are sealed" she says, crossing her lips and acting as if she's tossing away the key.

I roll my eyes knowing how untrue that statement is as I begin... "when we were walking back, it occurred to me that I signed his name twice, without even thinking about it, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Yet when Sebastian and I went to go get our marriage license, I we had to get three new copies because I kept signing Morgenstern instead of Verlac."

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news then Clary" she says, and I look up at her from the floor "but you've done that 4 times today. Twice at the clerks office for each of the papers they had you sign, and twice on the credit card slips."

"Shit" It's truly the only thing that comes to my mind at the moment.

"It's not a bad thing Clary, maybe...maybe when you were marrying Sebastian you were just young and nervous about it, or maybe you instinctively knew there was something wrong with marrying him."

"And there's not with marrying your brother!?" I yell, throwing my hands up in the air and letting them fall before sinking down onto the beanbag chair.

"I know you don't want to hear it..." I know where she's about to go and I put up my hand to stop her, but she ignores it "No, just listen okay. You and Jace, you've always been at odds with each other, ever since the day he got dropped off at our house. None of us understands it, because one, you won't tell us what the problem is, and two, the way the two of you interact with each other on the occasion you're not trying to pull some crap on the other...it's like the two of you are connected. Like magnets. We all see it, you and him just don't because of whatever this animosity crap is between you two. Now I know you think that I set this whole thing up because of that, but that's really not why I did it. After Sebastian and the...the...anyway, after that all happened, you were broken, and I think you still are broken to an extent. I know you put on a happy face and just go through life as if nothing is wrong and you're happy just being a single independent woman, but I've known you since we were in diapers and I know that you're not. Not deep down anyway. You still haven't forgiven yourself, for falling in love with Sebastian, or the other thing...and it's keeping you from living your life. I mean, hell Clary, you haven't even been on a date in five years. I guess, I just figured that maybe this would help put some of that behind you so that when you do come home and get it annulled, you'll be more likely go actually go out and date so that one day you can have a real relationship, and a real wedding."

I sit there, shocked at her words, just trying to take it all in. But there's one thing that stands out the most...that I haven't forgiven myself. It's true, completely, 100% true. The thing is, I don't know if I ever can.

"You still haven't explained the signing his name thing" I smirk back at her, knowing that she'll at least have fun with this...all while still trying to process everything she said.

"Ha! It really bugs you doesn't it? Clary, I don't know why you can sign Jace's last name like it's natural. I won't pretend that I didn't notice that when you went to sign the marriage license, you literally didn't even take a second look at the paper, just picked up the pen and signed. And yeah, I mean if you want me to go all Disney fairytale on you I could sit here and say that some where in your heart you know that the two of you belong together. But I've already accepted that's never going to happen, so there's no point."

"You have?" I ask, surprised that she's admitting it, when she's been bugging me ever since we didn't think boys had cooties.

"Yeah, I mean, part of me wishes it would happen because I'd love for you to actually _be _my sister, not just like a sister...but if it's something that would make you both unhappy, then I'm not going to push it. And that's really all I want is for both of you to be happy. You're not the only one I'm hoping this will do some good for. Jace needs to stop with the new girl every week thing, we're coming up on 30 rather quickly, and I for one would like to see him settled down and married in the next few years. Jace needs a family to stay grounded...the longer he lives in the world of having money and women, the more he seems to be pulling away from all of us. I think if he had a wife, maybe a couple of kids, he'd chill out and take it down a few notches."

"Oh" I say, feeling a little overwhelmed with all of the information that's been poured on me today. There's a lot to think about, and a lot that I need to figure out.

"Anyway" Izzy says, getting up from the couch, "I've got to head over to mom's to get working on that cake. I'll probably stay tonight and tomorrow over there so that you can have this place to yourself to relax and pack. We'll do a girly night on Saturday night and get up bright and early to get you ready on Sunday...you're tickets to Costa Rica are for 1pm on Monday." She smiles, heading out the door after giving me a quick hug.

If it were anyone else hearing Izzy talk about going to work on a cake, they'd probably totally freak out, calling the health department and poison control and anyone else who would listen to warn them that she was about to grant 48 hours of illness to the members of a wedding party. But while most people know Izzy can't cook to save her life, I mean the girl could probably burn a pot of water without even turn on the stove, but damn can she bake. Just how bad she is at cooking regular food, seems to be relative to just how great she is at baking...I just don't think anyone ever really gave her a chance to try.

So, if there was one thing I could be sure of, at least the cake would be perfect. The rest of it, I guess I'll just have to wait and see.


	6. Chapter 5

"Izzy, I don't think I can do this" I said, my voice cracking its way through the words as I sat in front of her vanity while she worked to tame my hair. Friday and Saturday had been the most boring days I've had in quite some time, and as much as I wish I could say it was relaxing, it wasn't.

Friday I called into work and informed them that I would be out of town for the next month or so. As expected, they informed me that because it wasn't a planned vacation period, there was no guarantee that my job would still be there when I got back...but that I was an excellent worker and they would try their best to keep the position open for me.

Saturday was spent cramming junk food in my mouth while watching whatever crap I could manage to find on our tv, that only had basic and tier 1 channels on it. Not that I could really concentrate on anything. Ever since Isabelle had left Thursday night, I couldn't help thinking about everything she had said...over and over and over. Debating why I even hated Jace, what this whole thing would mean for me...if it would somehow help me finally release my past relationship mistake so that I could move on.

Then there was what she said about how me and Jace are connected like magnets, which is the one thing that no matter how many times I tried, I couldn't wrap my head around it and just couldn't see it no matter how many times I replayed various moments of our lives since we've met. It didn't help either when Jace called me late Friday night, telling me to make sure I bring some options for formal and semi-formal dinners and that he'd see me on Sunday morning at 11am. His tone was cold and clipped as he went through the plans for the wedding, pictures that he finally agreed to have taken for Starkweather's benefit and how we should head back home Sunday after the wedding and spend the day and night with each of our parents since we would be gone a while...leaving it up to me if I wanted to tell them the extent of our agreement for this business trip.

The only thing that eased any of the tension is when Izzy dropped by Saturday afternoon with the wedding cake so that I could get to work on it while she was out finalizing last minute details before we could have our 'girls night', which Mangus happily made himself a part of.

That leads me to sitting here, 9 am on a Sunday morning in nothing but a bathrobe, Izzy insisting on doing my hair and makeup before touching any of the clothes.

"Clary, you're going to be fine...deep breaths...just try to think of this like the school plays you used to be in." She said with a smile.

"Seriously?" I ask, raising my brows and glaring at her through the reflection in the mirror "Do you not remember that after the first couple of plays where I completely botched my lines, they told to stop trying out and wouldn't let me touch anything unless it had to do with set design?"

She laughed "well, then I guess it's a good thing you only have to repeat the words after Magnus says them"

"Did someone call for me?" Magnus said, entering the room with a flourish. "Clary darling, you look beautiful already"

I couldn't help smiling at Magnus. There was just something about him, when he walked into a room it didn't matter how depressed or mad you were, he instantly just brightened everything. He's a rather odd character, always dressed in eccentric glittery clothes, eyes like a cat, and a habit for rambling on about random things that no one ever actually understood but him. Compared to his boyfriend, Izzy's other brother Alec, the difference was astounding...and yet the two seemed to compliment each other so well, and had what I believe is a nearly perfect relationships. I don't know if being gay has anything to do with it, but I've never seen a more solid couple than them.

"I'm not even dressed yet, Magnus." I laughed, as he came up and kissed my cheek.

"Yes, well, clothes or no clothes you're beautiful...if I was straight...what is it they say, oh yes, I'd tap that."

"Magnus!" I gasp, acting as if I'm horrified at his words, but in truth they didn't bother me, we've been teasing each other back and forth for years.

"So, what's the word ladies?" he says, his hand on his chin as he looks at us like he's contemplating something.

"Clary doesn't think she can go through with it." Izzy says, rolling her eyes. Does she forget that I can actually _see _her in the mirror?

"Oh Biscuit, you're going to be fine" he says, pulling up a chair next to me while picking through the makeup that Izzy has left out, opening different tubes of lipstick and holding them up to me trying to decide which to use.

"I know, I'll be fine. It's all pretend anyway" I say, closing my eyes and shaking my head.

Taking the concealer and getting to work on the dark circles that seem to have appeared under my eyes over the last couple days, he smiles. "Yes, well, fake or not I'd like to make a prediction"

"Oh yeah, and what's that?" Izzy asks, pulling another strand of my hair through the curling iron.

"I predict that Miss Clary here is going to come back from this trip, happier than ever with a great souvenir."

Izzy and I both laugh at that. "Mags, the only way I'm coming back from this trip happy is if I kill Jace while we're there, and the souvenir will be his head on a silver platter"

"Uh huh, keep telling yourself that, doll" he shakes his head in disagreement.

I don't have a clue what he's getting at...but it kind of has me worried. The man has an uncanny knack for his predictions being correct. Several times now I've asked if he's a witch, or warlock with some kind of magical powers, because there's no way someone is right _that _often...his only response has been "perhaps".

"Alright" Izzy says, stepping back and spinning the chair I'm on to face her "I do believe our work is complete...time to get the dress on."

I sigh, taking a deep breath as I make my way over to where the dress is hanging and stare at it for a few minutes before slipping out of her room and into mine to change. Once the dress is on and I look down I'm not surprised at all when I feel nothing. This dress isn't me at all...the only thing I'm actually happy with are the shimmery ballet flats Magnus gave me last night, knowing that I'd try and refuse wearing the heels that Izzy bought, even if they were only a few inches high.

After looking at the clock and seeing that we had a whole hour before we have to be there, I strolled over to my bed, looking under it to where I had tossed one of my old sketchbooks the other day after having gotten increasingly frustrated with what I found in it while I was flipping though the pages. Almost every other page was filled with images of Jace. Him by himself, him with his family, his guitar, sitting at the piano.

As I started pulling down other sketchbooks and looking through them, I only found more of the same, all the way back to junior high when I had first started drawing semi-decent portraits. I couldn't help but smile at the one I had done of him, his chipped front tooth clearly visible...the one that was my doing when I got pissed at him and whacked him in the mouth with a tennis racket for trying to pull on my braids while I was attempting a serve to Izzy when we were 13.

The artist in me wanted to dismiss it as nothing more than him having perfect features that made it impossible to not draw him. The other part of me though, couldn't get over how many pictures of him I had done over the years. Someone who I didn't think was of much importance in my life, seemed to dominate my artwork. And that scared me, especially when put in the context of what Izzy had said.

I heard footsteps padding down the hallway towards my room and quickly scrambled to pick up all of the sketchbooks and shove them into the back of my closet, praying that because of what Izzy deemed my lack of fashion sense, she'd have no reason to go in there while I'm gone and look at any of them.

"I'm coming Iz" I yell, shoving the last couple back there and tossing a blanket over them. I was startled though by the voice I heard which was most certainly not Izzy.

"So, I don't even merit an invitation to my little sisters wedding?"

I turn and see Jon standing in the doorway, a big smile on his face.

"Jon, what are you doing here?" I exclaim, throwing myself into his arms. I love my brother, probably more than I've ever loved anyone in my life and we've always been super close...but as we've gotten older, and he got a wife and kids, we hardly see each other like we used to despite living only a few miles from each other.

"Well, you see, I got a call from Isabelle, suggesting that my little sister might need someone to walk her down the aisle. Imagine my surprise when she tells me that you're marrying her brother on Sunday without any word of it to be spoken to the rest of the family...a brother that mind you, you've insisted that you hated for like, ever."

I roll my eyes "she did tell you it's fake, right? That we're only doing this to save Jace's business?"

"Oh yeah, she told me, I just don't buy it."

"What are you talking about, Jon?" I ask with a huff, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about Clare-Bear, even if you won't admit it to yourself or anyone else."

"You're just as delusional as mom and dad"

"Really, we're all delusional and you're the one that's not. Don't you think it's a little odd that all of us...me, Stephanie, Mom, Dad, Mayrse, Robert, Isabelle, Alec, Magnus, and even Max see something there between the two of you, and yet you don't?" He says, listing off the names on his fingers... "Hell, even Sebastian saw it...it's what finally got him to propose to you because he was afraid there was something going on between you two."

"Jace doesn't see it" I say, trying to ignore the red flag going off in my mind telling me that he's right. Even if he was right...and I'm not saying he is...but if he were, it wouldn't matter because Jace doesn't see me that way. All I am to him is a means to an end. Not that it matters, because I don't have any feelings for Jace at all. Sure, I might not hate him quite as much as I used to as a kid, but that's mostly just me growing up and maturing and realizing it was stupid. The most I could hope to come out of this trip for me and Jace, is a truce, which is pretty much necessary if he's going to be investing in mine and Izzy's business.

Now it's Jon's turn to roll his eyes. "I still question if that's true myself...but back to you, are you really going to keep living in a bubble, Clary. Sebastian's gone...the decisions you made because of that, I can't begin to understand them...but I don't judge you. You know that. But you need to make a life for yourself again. You want to claim that there's nothing there between you two, that this marriage is just a temporary marriage of convenience, fine...but stop lying to yourself. Why else would you be hiding your sketchbooks? Afraid of what someone else might see when they look at them? Are you afraid of what you see when you look at them?"

That was it, between him, and Izzy I couldn't take it any more.

"Shut the hell up, Jon! God, what the hell is it with all of you. Don't you all think that I have enough to deal with without you people putting all this crap in my head. I mean, are you all trying to get me to back out of this deal? I'm not even doing it for Jace...I mean, yes, in a way I am...but he's offering to finance the business that me and Iz want to start if I go along with that. How could I say no!? Where's the hidden motivation there Jon!?"

Stepping in closer to him and lowering my voice so I won't be overheard, I continue on my rant "And you want to talk about me Jon, what about you, huh? What about you being married to Stephanie when you don't even love her. When are you going to finally admit you got with her as a placeholder because you just couldn't man up and admit you're in love with Isabelle"

He shook his head, his eyes, filled with regret "Clary, you know it's not that simple"

"No, you're right, it's not that simple...so why do you expect something different from me?"

"Because, I'm married...I made my choice, and now I'm stuck with it. You...you still have a chance to get what you really want, I just don't want you to waste it being in denial"

I look over at my clock, noticing that it's 10:36. "Whatever Jon, we have to go or we're going to be late...so will you or won't you walk your sister down the aisle and fake give her away at her fake wedding?" I smile at him, letting him know that this fight is over...at least for now. One great thing about our relationship, we can get in each others face, be completely honest with each other, and are over it almost as soon as the words come out of our mouths.

"Of course I will" he say with a smirk "when you and Jace get married for real I won't be able to...that will be dad's job"

I whack him on the back of the head as we head out of my room and down the hall to the living room where Izzy is impatiently waiting, once again biting at her nails. I've never seen the girl more on edge than the last few days, and I can't help but wonder if there's more going on there that she's just not telling me about.

"Alright" I say with a loud sigh, "let's get this show on the road."


	7. Chapter 6

**Hello again everyone! I just have to say I'm loving all the follows/favorites and reviews I'm getting for this story. . I love seeing what you all think as the story progresses.**

**KyKat- Glad you liked the Jon/Izzy thing, for some reason I ship them over Sizzy when it comes to reading/writing fanfic. And lucky you, this chap. just happens to be in Jace's POV. Keep in mind that I usually have very specific reasons why a particular chapter is in one persons pov, and another is in someone elses. **

**Guest- Sorry to keep you waiting ****for**** the wedding...but wait no more...here it is, and in Jace's POV!**

**I like being a guest- I don't have specific days to update, but am trying to do it once or twice a week. I don't have internet at home, so it just depends on when I can get someone to watch my kids so that I can get over to the library or somewhere with wifi. Don't worry, Verlac will make an appearance, but I can tell you that it won't be for at least another maybe 8 chapters or so. There will be other obstacles for them. I think the big thing to remember is that while everyone else has seen it all along, they haven't. So the biggest obstacles for them to 'really' happen, and it not just be about this business deal is going to be themselves. **

** - Interesting that you picked up on that little detail of Izzy biting her nails. I can say that you'll have your answer to that in the chapter after this one. But just a little hint, it has nothing to do with Jace/Clary.**

**Ahh...the wedding is finally here! I should state now that I did NOT write this ceremony. I borrowed it from the Great Officiants website, and altered it slightly to fit in with what I needed. Probably should have written it myself, but since I screwed up my vows when I got married, I didn't think I had a chance of writing some for this and having them come out okay. **

* * *

If someone had told me, even just six months ago that today I would be pacing in front of an altar waiting for my soon to be wife, Clary Morgenstern to walk down the aisle, I would have told them they were crazy. Then proceeded to ask what kind of drugs they were on and if they'd share because they must be really, really good.

I thought I could do this, I really did, but now I'm not so sure. The only thing stopping me from fleeing is Alec who hasn't taken his eyes off of me in the last hour, when it occurred to me that I'm making a huge freakin mistake. I know that it's all fake, and that it means nothing, and that I have to do this to save the company that my father worked his ass off to build...but it just feels all wrong.

Okay, so I know that I'm what Clary loves to refer to as a 'man whore', though I prefer the term bachelor, but I did want to get married...eventually...I just never found the right girl. And it's not for lack of selection either but most of them, while pretty, lacked the ability to have even the slightest intellectual conversation. Maybe that's just the type of girls that I attract, I don't know. My point is that it's always been part of my plan to get married...once. I envy my parents and Robert and Mayrse, who even though they had their difficulties, stayed together through everything, never separating or divorcing.

Now, here I am about to get married to a girl I can't stand, only to get it annulled a month from now. I guess annulled is better than divorce, but it still means that when I do find someone I will have already been married. And Clary, I may not like her but the poor girl already has one horror story of her almost marriage to Sebastian, and now she'll have another with a fraudulent marriage to me. I feel like I'm taking something important from her. Like, she should have a chance to have a real wedding that means something to her instead of this.

Not that there's anything I can really do about it now. Alec has already threatened bodily harm, and Magnus who arrived a few minutes ago threatened to douse me in glitter. Not happening. I just want to get this over with and go spend some time with my family before I'm stuck on an island with her for a month. With any luck, she'll find plenty of things to keep her occupied and out of my hair except when she's needed, and plenty of girls to keep me busy.

Finally, Magnus is moving over to the arbor and pointing behind me indicating that Clary has arrived. I turn around and at first I'm surprised to see her brother with her, and then I see her dress. And I can't stop myself from cracking up with laughter. The roll of her eyes and smirk on her face tells me she agrees completely with my thoughts. That dress, is definitely NOT Clary's style, and can only mean on thing...she let Izzy pick out whatever she wanted. It's white, but with a big poofy skirt and sequins all over the bodice that shimmer pink and blue in the sunlight. No, if Clary were to pick out her own gown, it would be classy and simple...nothing like this.

As she takes my arm and we walk the next couple of steps to stand before Magnus, I look down at her. "You look like a cupcake, Shorty"

"Yeah, I know...Isabelle picked it out"

"I figured, it's not your style at all"

I feel her stiffen beside me and her grip on my arm gets tighter. She looks surprised that I would say that. Clary and I may not like each other, but it's not as if I haven't been around her most of my life in some way or another with our parents being friends, and her being best friends with my sister. Maybe I'm just observant.

"You okay?" I ask, giving her the opportunity to back out, even if I know what that would mean for the business.

Taking a deep breath, she looks up at me with a smile "Yeah, I'm fine...let's do this".

"We are gathered here today..." Magnus starts, but is quickly interrupted by Clary.

"Mags, can't we just skip to the 'I do' part, that's all we need, isn't it?"

Magnus smiles and winks at her "Sorry, Biscuit, I'm nothing if not thorough...and you should know I don't do anything half-assed."

She sighs, and slumps her shoulders in defeat. I move her hand from my arm, and grip it in mine, twining our fingers together and giving it a squeeze...giving her support, comfort...whatever she needs to get through this, because in truth I don't think I can ever repay her for what she's doing for me.

"Anyway," he begins again, "We are gathered here today to celebrate one of life's greatest moments, the joining of two hearts. In this ceremony today we will witness the joining of Clarissa Adele Morgenstern and Jonathan Christopher Herondale in marriage."

Great...he's going for lovey dovey mushy crap. Maybe Magnus being the officiant wasn't such a great idea.

"Today we have come together to witness the joining of these two lives. For them, out of the routine ordinary of life, the extraordinary has happened. They met each other, fell in love and are finalizing it with their wedding today"

Clary snorts, and I scoff, rolling my eyes but quickly regain my composure when I notice off to the side of the arbor, her brother Jon stands with a video camera in hand. I squeeze her hand and tilt my head towards him so that she knows what's going on and she simply nods.

"Romance is fun, but true love is something far more and it is their desire to love each other for life and that is what we are celebrating here today"

Magnus takes a deep breath and flips the page of the small book he has in his hands, before continuing with a smirk on his face. I'm glad that he finds this humorous, but all I'd like to do is wipe that damn smirk off his face.

"But today is also a celebration for the rest of us, for it is a pleasure for us to see love bloom, and to participate in the union of two people so delightfully suited to one another"

Okay, so maybe that wasn't so bad...and it's not as if the 'delightfully suited' comment isn't something that I've heard practically every day from Robert and Mayrse when it comes to their opinion on Clary's and mine relationship...or lack thereof.

"A good marriage must be created.

In marriage the "little" things are the big things.

It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say, "I love you" at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.

It is sanding together and facing the world.

It is speaking words of appreciation, and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is not only marrying the right person...it is being the right partner"

"Now...turn and face each other and hold hands and repeat after me...I Jace, take you Clary to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow and forever.

I will trust you and honor you

I will laugh with you and cry with you

I will love you faithfully

Through the best and the worst,

Through the difficult and the easy.

Whatever may come I will always be there.

As I have given you my hand to hold

So I give you my life to keep"

I face her, her hands held in mine and notice briefly just how small they are. I swallow past the rapidly forming lump in my throat and repeat the words, focusing on anything but her...I just can't bring myself to look in her eyes and say it. Because despite all the years of hatred and avoidance, I know, looking into her eyes right now I'm going to see the same exact thing I saw the day we first met...and I'm no more prepared for her to see into my soul today than I was back then.

When I finally do look up at her, she's doing the same...looking away as she's repeating the words. I can't help but wonder if some part of her still wishes it was Sebastian standing in front of her.

"I Clary, take you Jace to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow and forever. I will laugh with you and cry with you, I will love you faithfully. Through the best and the worst, through the difficult and the easy. Whatever may come I will always be here. As I have given you my hand to hold, so I give you my life to keep."

"Jace and Clary, I would ask that you always treat yourself and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together today. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your marriage deserves. When frustration and difficulty assail your marriage...as they do to every relationship at one time or another...focus on what still seems right between you, not only the part that seems wrong."

I can tell that Clary is getting antsy by the way she's tapping her fingers against my hands, but find that even when I squeeze them, she still won't look up at me.

"This way, when clouds of trouble hide the sun in your lives and you lose sight of it for a moment, you can remember that he sun is still there. And if each of you will take responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and happiness."

Magnus clears his throat, flipping the page once more and I know it's time for the 'I do' parts.

"Jace, do you take Clary to be your lawful wedded wife?...Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, be faithful and protect her?...Do you promise to take out the trash and pick up your clothes off the floor? And do you promise to love her even when she is cranky?"

Even with a few good laughs at the picking up clothes, because everyone knows my room house is spotless...and the mention of Clary being cranky, which she usually is...I manage to agree to each of them. With just a few things changed for her, Clary also says her 'I do's' all still without looking me in the eye...and yet with a smile on her face.

"There are 3 rings of marriage. The wedding ring, the engagement ring, and the suffering. We hope the latter can be held to a minimum" Magnus says with a chuckle before motioning to Isabelle and Alec for the rings, which they hand to each of us.

He says the words that I'm to repeat, and I do...Clary repeating the same after me.

"I Jace, take you, Clary to be my wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health for richer or for poorer, in joy and in sorrow, and I promise my love to you."

"I Clary, take you, Jace to be my husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in joy and in sorrow, and I promise my love to you."

Thankfully, that's it for us. All that's left is a kiss, which Clary and I already agreed to over the phone would be just a quick peck on the lips. We just have to wait for the word.

"To make your marriage work will take love. This is the core of your marriage and why you are here today...It will take trust, to know that in your hearts, you truly want what is best for each other...It will take dedication, to stay open to one another and to learn and grow together...It will take faith, to go forward together, without knowing exactly what the future brings...And it will take commitment, to hold true to the journey you both have pledged to today."

"By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife...you may now kiss the bride" He says with a wink.

I lean down and let my lips brush hers for mere seconds then pull back and step away when Alec grabs me and turns be back to her and everyone is protesting that that's not good enough, that the kiss doesn't count...blah blah blah. Just to shut them all up, I step up to her, cup her face in my hands and ignoring the shocked look I find there before crashing my lips to hers.

At first she doesn't respond but when she does...damn...there isn't a single word to describe what it's like kissing her. The fire and passion in it are unlike anything I've ever experienced in my life. It's in that moment that I realize that I don't want to ever stop kissing this girl, I don't ever want to let her go.

If only I didn't hate her.


	8. Chapter 7

He kissed me.

The asshole freakin kissed me!

That was most definitely NOT part of the plan. It was supposed to be just a quick peck, nothing more, nothing less...just enough to seal the deal.

But no...he kissed me...and it was a kiss that, my God, I don't even think I can adequately describe it. Not that I have much to compare it to, seeing as the only guy I've ever kissed is Sebastian, but I can say without a doubt that there was never a kiss in the whole of our relationship that ever came close to the kiss Jace and I just shared.

Of course I can't help but wonder what the hell that means. It doesn't help that all of my thoughts about it are clouded by everything that Jon and Izzy, and, just about everyone has ever said about me and Jace being 'perfect' for each other.

Fortunately, before my head completely starts spinning, I'm ripped off of my mental merry go round by someone's hand on my shoulder, saying my name.

"Clary, Clary are you okay...do you need me to get Isabelle?"

When I turn to see who it is, I'm shocked and relieved at what I find. Throwing my hands around his neck and squeezing so hard I'm sure that I'm compromising his oxygen supply, I sigh deeply.

"Oh Simon, you have no idea how happy I am you're here" What a massive understatement that is. If there's one person that can help me get my head on straight about this whole thing it's him. He hates Jace nearly as much as I do. And I do hate Jace...at least, I'm pretty sure I do.

"Yes, well, then perhaps you want to not kill me" he manages to choke out. I pull back at him and laugh, his smile is enough to make all the craziness around me just disappear.

Simon and I were best friends once. It's not that we're not friends now, but the more serious my relationship had gotten with Sebastian, the more Simon got pushed to the side. Sebastian didn't like him and how close we were, and being the stupid naive girl I was, I listened to him. Once we ended things, Simon and I tried to pick up where we left off, but it was...complicated. He was dating Isabelle at the time, and let's just say things weren't going so well for them. About a year after my breakup with Sebastian, Simon and Izzy called it quits and he took a job in California as video game developer. We've managed to keep in touch through email and occasional phone calls, but the only time we get to see each other his when he comes home for a few days to visit his mom and sister during the holidays.

"I thought you couldn't make it. Wasn't there some developer conference this weekend you had to be at in Toronto?"

"There was, but when I got your message I ditched it and hopped a plane here. Kinda sounded like you needed me"

"You have no idea" I said, turning back to look at everyone mingling and drinking champagne, laughing and having a good time.

"I gotta tell you Clary, I'm surprised. This...I never expected this." he said, shaking his hand and pointing to the new rings on my finger.

"I told you Si, it's all fake, just until he gets the money from that investor."

He shakes his head again as he takes my hand in his. "Clary, I've known you for a really long time and I know what I've always said about you and Jace and what everyone has always said. And you know I can't stand him...but what I saw today, that didn't look fake to me...it didn't sound fake."

I look at him with a look that I'm sure clearly displays my shock and complete disbelief that he's turning on me.

"You're wrong, Simon...I hate him just as much as ever. I'm only doing this because..."

He interrupts what I'm saying "I know, because he's giving you and Izzy the money for the business. What if I told you that I'd give you the money for the business...would you still do it?"

"It's already done, it doesn't matter now."

"Yes it does...answer me honestly, Clary. Answer as if today hasn't happened yet. If I had answered the phone when you called on Thursday and you told me what happened, and I told you to not do it, that I would give you the money to start your business...would you have still gone through with it?"

"No...Yes...God, Simon, I don't know...it's complicated." I say, dropping my head in my hands. It really _is_ complicated. I've hated him for so long that I'm not sure if all of these confusing feelings are real or if they're just a product of what other people have put in my head.

"It's really not complicated," he says, pulling me to lean on his shoulder "but I think on this trip, you really need to take some time thinking about it. Decide if you really hate him, or if maybe you love him and just keep up this hating each other thing because it's been going on so long that you don't know how to be any different with him...or because you think its expected of you. Trust me though, if you actually do love him, and you let him walk away after this is all over, you might end up spending the rest of your life regretting it. You may not get another chance."

"Are you talking about me and Jace, or are you talking about you and Izzy?" I ask, lifting my head and giving him a smirk.

"No, it's not about me and Iz. I've accepted that that relationship went as far as it was going to go, and am just happy that we didn't manage to completely destroy our friendship when it ended. Besides...I've got a girlfriend now" he says with a shrug.

"Ooohh...Simon Lewis has a girlfriend, do tell."

"Well, you remember back when me and the guys started that band freshman year, that girl Maureen that followed me around like my own personal little groupie?"

"Yeah...if I recall you thought that it was weird, but really sweet, and kept telling her that she needed to find someone her own age"

"Well, what seemed like a big age difference to us then, just isn't now. I ended up running into her at a coffee shop that was having some local bands playing...turns out she ended up being a talent scout for a record label out there. We've been together three months now."

"That's awesome Si, I'm really happy for you" I say, giving him a hug. When I pull back I see Jace heading our way. There must be something going on with him because he looks downright depressed. I know that he didn't want this marriage any more than I did, but he looks like someone just told him his dog died. Not that he's ever had a dog...he's always been more of a cat person. Hell...how do I even know that?

"Simon" Jace says, raising his glass to him "glad to see you could make it. If you don't mind though, Isabelle is demanding that my wife and I come and cut the cake."

His hand is outstretched waiting to take mine, and I find myself just staring at it for a couple of minutes before I finally stand and slip my hand in his as he leads me to the cake table. Just before we reach it though, I stop him and turn to look at him. "Are you okay, Jace?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" he asks, but I can tell he doesn't mean it.

"Because you don't look okay"

"I'll be fine, just have a lot of stuff on my mind right now"

"About the trip?"

"Yeah"

"It will be fine. They'll belive us. If we have to we'll take bore him with the thousand pictures I'm sure Izzy has of the wedding and play up the fact that we've known each other most of our lives...whatever it takes."

"Thank you" he says, pushing a curl that has fallen down into my face behind my ear "for doing this for me. I know we've hated each other for a long time, but maybe...maybe when this is all over and we come home, we can be friends"

I smile at him, "friends sounds nice." But as real as the smile is on my face, it's almost painful to maintain when I realize the clench at my heart when he says the word friends. Though whether it's because of the idea of us being friends is strange, or because just maybe everyone has been right this whole time and there really is something more there between us, I'm not sure. The only thing I can be sure of, is that I'm making it my mission on this trip to figure it out. Because I think Simon is right, if I really do have feelings for him and I let him walk away, I feel like I will end up regretting it.

"So, how about that cake?" he asks, pulling me along to the table where our little group is gathered.

Seeing the two tier cake fully put together, it's perfect just as I expected. I catch Jace leaning over and inspecting the details of it.

"That is beautiful" he says, looking back at me with a smile on his face "did...did you paint this?"

"Yep. Did it yesterday. Izzy gave me some pictures of the garden up here and I tried to copy all of the flowers onto it."

Before I can say anymore Izzy thrusts the cake knife into my hands and tells us to get to cutting. Jace places his hand over mine, and it's all I can do to ignore the tingle I feel when he does. We vehemently refuse feeding each other the cake, but each take a bite from the piece we've cut so that Izzy can have a picture of it.

Once Jace is done with his piece he looks over at Izzy, eyes narrowed... "Iz...this is hummingbird cake, how did you know?"

The smirk on her face is one of total satisfaction. "One of the times you were out of town and had me come up here to adjust the timer for the sprinklers...I may have browsed through Celine's books on my way back downstairs. I found one that had said Herondale family recipes, and when it came time for you to need a cake I remembered that one of the recipes in that book was simply called 'Jace's birthday cake'...so I thought I would use it for this."

"Hold on...you made the cake? That's not even possible, this is absolutely delicious. Tastes exactly like my mothers, and you can't cook" he says, taking another bite.

I jab my elbow into his ribs for his comment and roll my eyes. "Yes Jace, you're right, she can't cook...but she sure as hell can bake. Why the hell else do you think I'd want to go into business with her if she couldn't?"

"Wait" he says, with a cocked eyebrow "this is the business you want to start?" he says, pointing at the cake.

"Well, yeah, I thought you knew that we wanted to open a bakery."

"No, Izzy never told me...just kept going on and on about the two of you being business partners."

I look over at Izzy, only to see that the smirk that had been on her face is now a frown.

"Iz, why didn't you tell him?"

"Because, I knew he'd just assume that because I can't cook, that I can't bake and then he'd just tell me that it was a stupid idea"

"I would not have" Jace protests, looking up at her from where he's just finished off the last piece of our slice. "Izzy, why the hell are you crying?"

I look over at her and sure enough the tears are streaming down her face. Now I know something is up with her. She's not generally an over sensitive type of person, and nothing that was just said should have made her cry. Hell, Jace just told her the cake was amazing, and further proved it by eating every bite.

"It's a wedding Jace, people cry at weddings...God, what is wrong with you people" she snaps and stomps off.

I see my brother glance over his shoulder at her with an odd look on his face. I hesitate, thinking maybe he's going to go talk to her, but when he turns back to me and just shrugs, I look over at Jace.

"Go see what's up with her" he says, putting another piece of cake on his plate "just hurry up or there might not be any cake left for you when you get back"

I laugh, and run off after Isabelle. When I finally find her, she's sitting, curled up in a chair in the lobby of the building still wiping away tears. I slide one of the other big chairs next to her and rub her back.

"Iz..talk to me, what's wrong? You've been acting weird for a few days now...chewing apart a $30 manincure, crying over stupid stuff...it just isn't you. What's going on with you?"

"I can't tell you" she says, as another sob and round of tears escapes her "you'll hate me."

"What, Izzy...you know I could never hate you. If I don't hate you after you asking me to marry your brother, then you must know there isn't anything you could tell me that would make me hate you."

"This would"

"Look at me Izzy" when she does, I can see the fear in her eyes so clearly "I promise you, no matter what it is I won't hate you. I'm your best friend...and best friends are supposed to help each other, I can't help you unless you tell me what's wrong."

"I...I..I'm..." she still can't get it out, and I pat her back and urge her to continue.

"Come on Izzy, just say it quick, rip it off like a band aid"

"Fine" she says with a sigh, dropping her head in her hands "I'm pregnant"

"What!?" I yell, jumping up from my seat. I'm sure that my eyes are probably bugging out of my head but I just don't understand how this is even possible. She hasn't dated anyone in a while, and while when we were just out of high school she had her fun, now a days she's a relationship first, sex after type of girl.

"See...I knew you'd hate me." she says, wiping away more tears with the nearly disintegrated tissue in her hands. I reach over and grab a couple more from the box that's sitting on the table nearby before kneeling down in front of her and handing them to her.

"Honey, I don't hate you, I'm just...surprised is all. Do you...do you know who the father is?" I ask, gently, praying that she's not about to say that she has no idea. The last thing she needs is to have to do this on her own. Not that I wouldn't be there for her every step of the way, but things have a way of getting very...stressful when you don't have the support of the baby's father.

"Yeah, I do. It's Jon."

At first, I'm sure that I misheard her, because the only Jon we know is...oh hell.


	9. Chapter 8

Woohoo! Here is the next chapter for your reading pleasure. The good news? I finally upgraded to a phone w/ android 4.4, which means I can update without going to the library! Now just keep all those awesome reviews coming to keep me motivated to write & update quickly.

So glad you were all surprised with the Jonabelle baby twist. And yes, he is unfortunately still married w/ two children with his wife, just don't be mad at him yet. ; )

On another note, if you are a reader of M rated fics, make sure you check out my other story These Days are Ours, which you can find by searching for author name LiteratiLove11. It's kind of a dark fic, with au/ah/ooc Clace.

* * *

For the last two hours, I've been sitting here, glaring at my brother over my glass of whiskey. Okay, so it started out as beer, which I really can't stand, but I wasn't trying to get drunk. Then I realized that nothing better compliments seething in anger like a glass of whiskey, so I broke into the stash that my Mom has here for my Dad when he comes over. Watching Jon, sitting here at the table in our parents back yard laughing and smiling having light conversation with Dad, Luke, Robert and Jace, I still haven't decided if I want to hug and congratulate him, or kick his ass.

Not that I've ever been under the impression that Jon was in love with his wife, Stephanie, and I don't think anyone else ever was either. It was always assumed that he only married her to do right by her when she found out she was pregnant with the twins. A theory that Isabelle confirmed for me today when she gave me the details of their affair...which had actually started a few weeks before Steph told him she was pregnant.

He had shown up one night at the bar where Izzy worked after getting into a fight and getting kicked out of the apartment by Stephanie. What started out as innocent conversation and reminiscing about the old days when we were all tied at the hip, ended up with the two of them back at me and Izzy's apartment. Where the hell I was at the time, I have no idea, but the point is that it happened...and continued on from there. Even when Steph did announce her pregnancy and Jon offered to marry her, he didn't break things off with Iz. Which explains Izzy's lack of dating and her suspiciously being the only one out of our two families that didn't attend the shotgun wedding...as well as Jon giving me the 'it's complicated' crap when I brought up him telling Izzy that he's in love with her.

I know that I should be more concerned that my brother and my best friend have been lying and keeping this secret from me for the last few years, but I'm just not. I get it. Jon was determined to play the part of perfect husband and father, and Izzy didn't want me to hate her, thinking that she was a home-wrecker.

Once Izzy had told me all the details...sparing me of the non-essential ones, because let's face it he's my brother and that's just gross...she admitted that she's nearly three months pregnant and still hasn't told Jon. I told her to head home and get some rest and that I would take care of my brother.

When I went back upstairs to the rooftop garden, things were pretty hectic, everyone having realized just how late it was getting and that we would be expected at our parents houses. Which delayed any conversation with him.

Of course, the drama just couldn't end there for the day. No, when we finally got here, about a 30 minute drive outside the city, I was greeted by my mother at the door informing me that our 'quiet' family dinner before my departure tomorrow had turned into a farewell bbq for both me & Jace. And being pre-occupied with my fake wedding and possible real feelings for my fake husband and finding out that Jon and Izzy have been having an affair and are expecting a baby, I managed to forget to remove the rings from my hand before our arrival. Which launched mom into a frenzy of how could I not tell her that I was getting married, and when did it happen and who is it. Thankfully, that was put to an end when Mayrse showed up and pulled her off to the kitchen to work on all of the side dishes.

She still hasn't cornered me yet, but I know it's only a matter of time. My main concern is finding a way to get Jon aside and talk to him, which has been nearly impossible since he decided to head home and pick up Steph and the kids before coming here, and she's been up his ass ever since. Luckily, she finally takes notice of her kids who have been begging her for the last hour to push them on the swings, and walks over to the other side of the yard with them in tow.

Knowing this might be my only chance, I hop up from my chair and grab his wrist dragging him from the conversation he was having. Our best option for a private conversation...the basement, which had been converted to an art studio for me and my mother years ago, which is the only room that was completely soundproof, due in large part to the fact that my brother and I were caught listening in to the fights that our parents would have when they were down there.

"What the hell are you doing Clare?" he asks, trying to stop me from going any further as we reach the top of the stairs to the basement.

"We need to talk...privately" I hiss, shoving him through the door and shutting and locking it behind us.

"What is wrong with you? Is this about what I said before the wedding about you and Jace, because..."

"No, it's not...that doesn't even register on the scale of crazy compared to what I learned today."

He fists his hands in his stark white hair and closes his eyes. "Shit...you found out about me and Izzy."

"You're damn straight I did" I yell, before hauling off and smacking him upside the head. "What were you thinking!?"

"I don't know...I don't know, okay. I love Izzy, you know that. I've always loved that girl and when it started, I just couldn't stop. Then Steph told me about the babies, and I couldn't just leave her...but there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't want it to be Izzy having my kids, have it be Izzy that I was marrying."

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me then. He looked at me like I was crazy, but I didn't care, because I knew just hearing those words for him that no matter how screwed up this situation was it was going to end up working itself out just the way it should.

"Well, good...I'm glad to hear you say that" I said to him with a smile.

"What? You are?" his eyebrows were raised at full peaks, not understanding how I could be okay with any of this.

"Yep...because Izzy's pregnant."

He looked about to pass out, then he pulled himself together and a smile crossed his face. "Really? She's really pregnant?"

"Almost three months." I say, nodding my head.

Nearly knocking me to the floor he flung himself at me, wrapping me in a tight hug.

"This is...amazing Clare, I'm gonna be a dad...and Izzy, oh God, Izzy...I need to call her."

I pulled back from him and smiled, "yeah, you do that, I'm gonna head back upstairs and give you some privacy...keep Steph from finding you."

"Thank you Clare, I love you, you know that right?"

"Of course you do...I'm the best little sister you've got." I said, as I turned and headed back up the stairs.

Just as I was about to close the door behind me I heard him yell "you're the only little sister I've got!"

All the happy feelings about my brother and my best friend starting a family together immediately went away though when I tried to cross through the living room only to find my mother blocking my way. Standing there with her hands crossed over her chest, a slight glare to the way she was looking at me, I knew that this wasn't going to be good.

"It's time for us to talk missy" she said, nodding her head in the direction of the couch. I rolled my eyes but did as she asked, there was no way of avoiding this conversation any longer.

"Alright, Mom, lay it on me"

She sat down on the couch next to me, a look of concern etched on her face. "Well, sweetie, from what Mayrse told me, you and Jace ran off and got married and didn't think that you should tell any of us so that we could be there."

I huffed, leaning on one of the arm rests with my head in my hand. "Mom, did she bother to tell you that it wasn't a real wedding...I mean, it was in that we are legally married, but we only did it so that he could convince this guy we're going to see in Costa Rica to invest in the company. The guy is very big into families and Jace didn't think he'd go for it if he were a bachelor. I just happen to be the only single person who he knows enough to trust with pulling it off."

"Oh honey, you know I don't believe that."

I start to protest but she quiets me, patting my hand as she continues "You have to understand, every since the two of you were little we've seen the way you were around each other. All the teasing, and the pranks...I think they came more from affection than they did from hate but you were both too young to understand the feelings, so you just perceived it as that. And maybe we all made a mistake in trying to push you both in that direction, because the two of you are equally stubborn and hard headed children. If we told you something, you always do the opposite. But it never escaped our notice that you were always busy sketching him, and he was always watching your every move when you were near each other. So, maybe we went a little overboard, we just wish that you two could see what we do."

"Oh yeah, and what's that?"

"Love, Clary."

Scoffing, I shake my head and stand up and start pacing. "Mom, you don't know what you're talking about...Jace hates me as much now as he ever has. You should have seen him right after the wedding. He looked miserable, like he'd rather be anywhere other than there."

"Well, from what I've seen the two of you shared quite a steamy kiss...and before you ask, no, your brother didn't show me...I'm the one who sneaked the camera from his bag. And can I just add...that you just said that Jace hates you...but nothing about you hating him, does that mean..."

"I don't know, Mom" I say with a sigh as I plop back down next to her, leaning my head back onto the cushions. "I don't know that I love him, but I do know that I don't hate him, and if I'm being honest...I'm not really sure I ever did."

We're interrupted by Jace who had just come in through the open sliding door to let my mom know that Dad, Luke and Robert were having some kind of debate and only she could settle it. Happy to have that conversation over with I decide to relax and kick off my shoes before putting my feet up on the coffee table. I lay my head back and close my eyes.

Several minutes later I feel the couch sink beside me and figure my mom's back for round two...that is until I feel someone's hand on my leg slowly tracing circles on my jeans with their thumb. I crack an eye open and look over only to find that Jace has joined me.

"You look upset Shorty, everything okay?" More than a little confused by his concern, and his...touching me, I resist the urge to fling his hand away and just relax and decide to go with the flow.

"Yep...I'm fine, just...contemplating"

"Contemplating what?"

I try to stifle a yawn unsuccessfully. "You know, the meaning of life, love, world hunger, global warming...which I totally don't believe in, ya know."

"Yeah, pretty sure global warming is just a..."

As he's talking, the words become a blur and all I can focus on his how relaxing the sound of his voice is.

I don't remember actually falling asleep, but I must have at some point because I can feel myself being jostled awake. When I open my eyes, I realize Jace is carrying me. I rub at my eyes and mumble out a "what" when he finally looks down at me, a small smile on his face.

"Well, apparently I'm boring to listen to, because you fell asleep. I'm taking you up to your room, you can go back to sleep."

"Mmmhmm" is all that comes out when I close my eyes again. When I feel him lay me on the bed and then pull away to leave I grab at his arm. I don't know why, but there's something that tells me I don't want him to leave.

"You, stay, sleep here?" I say, laughing a little as I realize my words are slightly incoherent. They're normal in my brain, they're just not coming out right.

"Clary, are you drunk?"

"Noooo...okay, maybe a little." Fun fact about Morgensterns...we can drink like fish, but when it finally catches up to us, let's just say it's pretty damn funny.

"I only had half a bottle of whiskey" I clarify.

"Yeah, well, I don't think it's a good idea Clary, your parents.." Jace starts but I cut him off.

"Parents, schmarents.." I say, holding my left hand up in his face wiggling my fingers "we're married...they can't say anything"

I'm mentally slapping myself but yet I can't seem to shut up. "Come on Herondale, turn off that big brain of yours and get in bed"

"Yes, ma'am" he says before pulling his shirt off and climbing into bed next to me.

I close my eyes and start to drift off to sleep when I suddenly realize that I'm still in my clothes. I stumble out of bed, getting my foot caught up in the sheets and I start laughing as I catch myself before face planting to the hardwood floor. I pull off my shirt and wiggle out of my jeans as I grab a tank top from the dresser near my bed. Just as I'm about to unsnap my bra, I look over at Jace and see that he's clenching the sheet in his fists and looking away. I'm not sure if I should be completely mortified at the fact that he doesn't want to look at me, or if maybe he's actually somehow affected by me showing this much skin. A lace bra and panties don't exactly leave a whole lot to the imagination. To be on the safe side I decide to pull my tank top on before pulling my bra off so there's no chance of him actually seeing anything.

"What are you doing, Clary?" he asks as I climb back into bed.

"What do you mean, I was uncomfortable in my jeans, so I got comfortable. Geez...you'd think you'd never seen a nearly naked woman before...what kind of man whore are you?"

"I just don't know why you're doing this" he says with a sigh as he stares up at my ceiling, still covered in glow in the dark stars from when I was a kid.

"Doing what? We're sleeping, don't worry it's not like I'm going to make you have sex with me." I say, turning on my side away from him. It's the truth, I wasn't trying to get him to have sex with me...at least I don't think I was...I don't know, maybe I was. It's been five years, can you blame me if I was? Just because I've spent all this time hating him, doesn't mean I'm blind. He's hot as hell. But I know it would be a stupid thing to do since we've already discussed that it wouldn't happen. Well, not that it was much of a discussion more of a statement by him that "since we don't like each other at least we don't have to worry about having sex and screwing up our chances of getting this thing annulled".

Yep, that's right...the basis of our annulment is that he just couldn't manage to have sex with me. Way to make a girl feel good about themselves, Herondale.


	10. Chapter 9

First, I just want to say thank you, thank you for all the reviews! You have no idea how happy it makes me knowing how much you all love this story.

Though I've been good about updating a couple times a week, the next chapter may take a little while longer. I woke up the day before yesterday with a pretty wicked cold that I can already tell is trying to work its way into an upper respiratory infection. While for some people this would mean more time to write, I won't even attempt it. I know that my head isn't in a place to focus so that it comes out good. So, I'm going to rest and try getting over this quickly so I can get back to updating.

Keep the reviews coming...those are even better than the chicken noodle soup that keeps being shoved in my face.

* * *

I woke up to the bright light streaming across my bedroom and groaned, instantly cursing myself for not only forgetting to close the curtains before I went to bed, but also for having insisted on taking this room when we moved here from our old house down the street. At least if I had taken the other room I wouldn't have to deal with this because that room only gets the light from the setting sun, not the rising one.

Cursing myself over the sun only turns into cursing myself for having had anything more than beer to drink last night when I go to get up and feel the headache pounding behind my temples. When I look over at the clock and see that it's 8:30, it only makes me feel worse, realizing that I have maybe an hour to get ready before we have to leave for the airport. And that's when I remember that I made Jace stay with me last night...in my bed. I groan again and throw myself back across it.

Yeah, today's just gonna be great. A headache, awkwardness with the non-husband-husband, and being stuck on a plane for five hours before having to meet and greet a man who literally holds the future of my business, and Jace's in his hands, all while having to pretend to be the perfectly in love wife. Okay, well, maybe the in lo...no, I'm not in love with Jace Herondale.

Finally, I drag myself out of bed and take a quick shower and rake a comb through my hair before putting it up in a messy bun. I throw on a pair of jeans, a tank top, a lightweight hoodie because I know airports and planes like to pretend they're Antarctica and keep the temperature close to the freezing mark, and a pair of flip flops...because, lets face it, going through airport security and having to untie and tie your shoes just to prove you're not a bomb wielding terrorist is annoying as hell.

Once I make it downstairs I'm surprised to see Jace there, pouring a cup of coffee and sliding it across the counter towards me with a couple of Tylenol. I thought for sure that he had snuck out sometime in the middle of the night so he wouldn't have to see me until we had to go to the airport. When I look up and see what he's eating I quirk a brow at him and laugh.

"Are you seriously eating wedding cake for breakfast?"

He stops just as he's about to put the fork in his mouth and shrugs "what? It's good. You want some?"

"Sure, I guess." I shrug back and settle myself onto the stool while he gets a plate, puts a slice on it for me and grabs a fork from the drawer before placing it in front of me.

"I'm sorry you didn't get your favorite, I thought Izzy said that she'd make sure it was both of our favorites but I guess she got so wrapped up in the recipe she wasn't thinking about it. If you want we can pick up a pack of those little hostess cupcakes so you get your chocolate fix."

"Well, as sweet as that is, chocolate's not my favorite." I say, taking a bite of the cake. It really is delicious and hopefully the sugar in it will give me enough of a buzz that it will keep me going today so that I don't end up asleep on the plane.

"It's not? I thought all girls loved chocolate."

"I do love chocolate...it's just not my favorite cake. Hummingbird cake is, which would explain why there aren't any other flavors in the cake"

The look on his face is completely unreadable, but I'm beginning to think I have something on my face with the way he's staring at me.

"I'm sorry about last night" I say, hoping to change the subject and get him to stop looking me that way. It works, because before he says anything he turns to look out the window that faces out towards the back yard where I can see Luke and my mom having their morning coffee while Revus is running in circles chasing his tail.

"It's fine. Let's not talk about it."

"Um...okay, well...I guess we should say goodbye so we can get on the road then." I say, hopping off the stool and making my way to the backyard.

Jace and I say our goodbyes to mom & Luke, then head over and say goodbye to Mayrse, Robert and Max, who much to the pleasure of Mayrse refuses to leave home and has taken to turning their 3 car garage into his very own bachelor pad. He's every bit the loveable geek infatuated with comics and video games like Simon always was but with a cocky, self-confident streak just like Jace. The boy certainly doesn't have any difficulty impressing the ladies.

The ride to the airport is mostly in silence. It's not uncomfortable, but not comfortable either. Though from the few glances I take of Jace while he's driving, he looks like he's in deep thought. We make it to the airport, find a spot in long term parking and manage to make it through checking in, checking our bags and through security with a half hour left before boarding when we make it to the gate. It's not until we sit down that he grabs the ticket out of my hand and looks it over comparing it to my own. Thankfully, we're flying first class and won't have to be squished into a row with a third person.

"This isn't right" he says, shaking his head "you're swapping with me."

"What are you talking about?" I ask, a little annoyed that since we left his parents this is the first thing he's said to me.

"I mean you got the window seat, and I want it."

"No." I say, putting my head in my hand as my arm is propped on the armrest of the chair. I really don't care if I have the window seat or not, but I'm not giving up for the simple fact that he wants it. If he wants to be Moody McGee...then so can I.

"Oh come on, what do you need the window seat for, you're probably just going to sit there doodling in your book anyway."

If there weren't witnesses, I swear I'd smack him for that comment.

"And what do you need the window seat for. You can't see anything but clouds anyway, oh wait...that's right you need some way of looking at your reflection since you love yourself so much. Can't handle a few hours away from a mirror?"

"Exactly...so let me sit there."

"No."

"I'll flip a coin for it." he says with a smirk. I give him a smirk of my own. Little does he know, Sebastian taught me a way to always win a coin toss.

"Fine" I say, pulling a quarter out of my pocket, "call it."

"Heads" I flip the coin and it lands on the floor in front of us, tails up.

"Best out of three" he says, and then he calls tails...followed again by heads, losing each time.

"Guess I get the window seat after all" I smirk at him and settle back into my seat while he picks up the quarter and inspects it.

"No, that's not possible, you're cheating...give me a different quarter."

"I don't have any more." I say with a bored look on my face.

"Fine...then I'll go get some."

He disappears for nearly ten minutes when he finally comes back with a triumphant smile on his face, holding an entire roll of quarters.

"Please, tell me you didn't just go swap a ten dollar bill for a roll of quarters" I say, quirking a brow at him. It's unbelievable the lengths this guy will go to, to get his way.

"Yep...and I managed to get the chicks number too."

He hands me the roll and I pull a quarter out and we get back to tossing. When we've made it half way through the roll, with him still not winning using a different quarter for each flip he takes the roll from my hand and stares at it.

"It's just not possible, there's no way...statistics would make it impossible...what are you doing to them?" He asks, looking at me completely perplexed. I just roll my eyes and smirk at him. That's when he seems to figure out that I really am doing something with him and I know I'm pretty much out of luck now. Usually, the other person isn't quite as persistent.

"One more time" he says, pulling a quarter out, flipping it around in his hand "and this time, I'm flipping."

I just shrug and say "heads".

And as expected, it lands on tails. Guess it's the row seat for me.

When we board the plane, we're in the last row of first class seats, and Jace sits in the window seat bouncing up and down like a five year old as he opens the flimsy plastic curtain that covers the window. I buckle in next to him and pull out my sketchbook so that I can "doodle" as he says.

Halfway into our flight and he's really made himself comfortable, while he watches whatever lame movie they've got playing, and I'm getting more and more annoyed that his arm keeps encroaching on my side of the armrest. Bumping into my arm for the third time and causing me to knock my sketchbook and mess up the lines I was trying to draw I finally pull my earbuds out and jab my elbow back against his.

"Do you mind? I ask, in a loud hiss.

"Yeah, I do actually, I need space."

"You have space, it's over there" I point to his side of the armrest.

"But it's not as comfortable when I put my arm there."

"I don't care, move" I say, trying to keep my voice low enough to not disturb the other people.

"No."

"Ugh...you know what, never mind, thank you for reminding me why I hate you." I say shoving my sketchbook and pencil back in my bag, then cross my arms over my chest and recline the seat further, leaning my head back and closing my eyes. I didn't want to fall asleep on the plane, but if it means I don't have to put up with his crap, it might be worth it. Though no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to shut my brain off enough to actually fall asleep.

It's not long until my eyes shoot open and look over to find him fast asleep, his head leaning on my shoulder. I close my eyes and sigh, mumbling "why did I get myself into this?" when I hear the lady in the seat across the aisle from me speak.

"Newlyweds?" she asks, her voice light as a smile dances on her face. She looks like what you'd picture the typical grandma to be as she sits there knitting something.

"Huh?" I ask, a little confused as to how she would have got that impression from two people who have been arguing.

"The rings." she says, tapping my hand with the knitting needle.

"Oh, that...yeah, I guess."

"I've been watching you two since the gate" she continues "you two remind me of me and my Henry, God rest his soul."

"I'm sorry" I say in condolence, not sure what she's getting at.

"Oh, it's alright sweetheart, we had a good, long and happy life together...and I don't regret a minute of it."

I smile at how content she seems to be despite losing her husband. "That's nice."

"It wasn't always nice. The two of us, couldn't stand each other when we met. We grew up in a small farming community in Pennsylvania. Arranged marriages weren't still common back then, but my father was a very strict, old fashioned, catholic man...who insisted that there was no one better to chose my mate than him. And so he chose Henry. Now let me tell you, Henry was a hard worker, but the boy had a wild side to him, he would drink his weight in whiskey and bring home a new girl every week it seemed. Me, being brought up to be a proper lady didn't want anything to do with him, but my father saw me as a way to straighten out a wayward man. For the first month or so we bickered constantly, much like the two of you, but eventually we learned to love each other. Looking back I don't think I could have picked a better man for myself."

"How long were you married?" I asked, fascinated by her story.

"Oh, honey, I'm still married. Will be until the day I die. But as far as how long we had together before he passed...a wonderful 68 years." She said with a smile that brought a light to her eyes.

"Wow, that's incredible."

"Yes, it is...you don't hear it much these days with the way people are getting married and divorced over the silliest things. Divorce is for the cowards, the weak. Unless he's truly done something to physically hurt you, and even that is questionable...Henry raised his hand to me just once, when he had had a bit too much to drink and I made him sleep in the barn for a week with a foot of snow on the ground, he had to eat slop right along with the pigs...but he never did it again. My point is, that there isn't any problem you two will face that you can't overcome as long as you do it together."

There was something about the woman's words that struck me, as I sat there, spinning the rings on my finger and looking over at Jace, who had moved his head and was now propped up against the window, looking so peaceful as he snored lightly. It made me smile. As much as I wanted to fight it, I could imagine me and Jace being the man and woman in that story. Henry sounded quite a bit like Jace, though I was never brought up a proper lady, and would have raised hell if my father told me who I'd be marrying.

I wanted to ask her for more of her story, but by the time I turned around to ask her, she had already set her knitting on the empty seat next to her and was napping. I took the cue and decided to relax for the remaining hour of the flight. It wasn't long before I was daydreaming about me and Jace, married...happy, living on a farm with two small children, a boy and a girl both with golden hair like him and green eyes like me. The deeper I got into the dream the less I wanted to leave it. It wasn't until I felt the tears coming down my face that I was snapped out of it with the realization that that dream would never be my life.

* * *

Uh oh! Looks like Clary is stepping into the land of no return when it comes to Jace. Poor girl though, thinking she can't have that with him. What do you think is up with that? Is it related strictly to Jace, or does it have something to do with Sebastian?

And yes, I know you're all looking forward to another Jace POV chapter...I promise, it's coming. Right now for this part of the story to work, you have to not know what his thoughts and feelings are.


	11. Chapter 10

By the time we got off the plane, got our luggage, a rental car and made our way to the hotel it was 8pm and I was mentally and emotionally exhausted from everything that I've been trying to process over the last few days. The tipping point being when Martha, who had introduced herself when we were de-boarding the plane, had told me the story of her and her beloved husband Henry. Daydreaming about that being me and Jace, nearly had me getting off the plane and back on another bound for New York immediately.

This whole thing was completely ridiculous, and having even spared a single minute or tear on things that weren't possible was a waste of energy. Further proving my point, fate decided once again to laugh in my face when we arrived at the hotel, only to find out that Izzy had booked us the 'Honeymoon Suite'. Jace argued with three different people, and a manager to try to get us separate rooms, but as luck would have it this trip was planned right through the middle of spring break meaning the place was booked full with a bunch of out of control, drunk college students. And all I wanted to do was to get to my room, take a long, hot bath and sleep. We didn't have to meet with Starkweather until tomorrow morning for breakfast, and I had intended on enjoying my first night on the island.

As we made our way down the hall towards our room, we remained silent...well I did, Jace kept mumbling and making comments about something...he had been since we left the airport but I couldn't find it in me to listen or even care what he was talking about. He put the key card in the door and pushed it open and we stepped inside and just stared. It was nice, as expected for the honeymoon suite...it had a small living room and dining room, a kitchen of sorts with microwave and mini fridge, and a bedroom with a huge king size bed. The pleasant surprises of the room were the oversize spa tub in the bathroom, and the small private pool that overlooked the beach.

We each tossed our carry on bags on the floor and I went to sit on the couch and wait for the rest of our luggage to be brought up. Jace was busy trying to call Izzy to find out why she did it. I didn't even care at that point, I just wanted sleep.

"I'm gonna kill her," Jace snarled as he flung his phone on the counter in the kitchen area.

"Yeah, well, you're going to have to wait another like seven months or end up with two counts of murder against you" I mumbled with a laugh as I lounged staring up at the popcorn ceiling.

I hadn't noticed that he had moved over near me when I said it, but he heard it.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He asked, leaning over me from the back of the couch.

"It means what it means, Izzy's pregnant."

He laughed, and laughed and laughed. I turned around and looked at him, sure that he must be losing his mind the way he was going on. When he stopped and saw the look on my face he paled.

"You're not joking are you?"

"Uh, no...I figured Jon would have told you, you are best friends and all that"

"Why would...no, don't tell me it's Jon's baby" he said shaking his head, but with a smile on his face "damn, took him long enough"

"Yeah, I know...that's what I said. But anyway, I'm tired...I just want to go to sleep."

"Don't go to bed yet, I'm trying to get in touch with Izzy to see if there were any other options for hotels around here. There's got to be something with two rooms available."

"Jace, don't worry about it" I say with a sigh, "I'm not going to cramp your style...I'll just sleep out here on the pull-out and you can have the bedroom for you and your groupies. You won't even know I'm here."

"Sweet...well, then you sleep...I'm gonna go find some food, and ya...you know."

"Yep" I say stoically, lifting a hand to wave without looking back at him, until I hear the door close. Then the tears start all over again. But I drag myself off the couch and start pulling the cushions off to set up the bed for the night, only to find that it isn't a pull-out couch, it's just a regular couch...no bed. Defeated, I go in to the closet in the bedroom and am more than happy when I find an extra set of sheets, a pillow and a blanket. Maybe tomorrow we can have a cot sent to the room, but until then, this will have to do. I toss the sheet on the couch, fluff up the pillow and lay down covering myself with the blanket.

As hard as I try, it takes hours before I start to feel tired enough for sleep. I've just laid here in the dark trying and failing at clearing my head, the images from earlier replaying over and over in my head. I felt at peace in that place. Not that it exists...but if it did, that's how I'd feel. It's what I've always wanted. Maybe not a farmhouse, but me and a husband, living in the suburbs with a couple of kids just how I grew up.

But Jace isn't that person, he hates me and with his womanizing ways, I have no doubt he'd probably leave me for someone else when he got bored of me too. Even the kids, nice idea...but not realistic. I don't deserve to be a mother. I had the chance once, and I did the unthinkable. It's something that I live with every single day and I don't think I'll ever forgive myself. I doubt I'd ever even be blessed enough to get pregnant again even if I were in a relationship with someone, and that wouldn't be fair to them...just like it wouldn't be fair to Jace. Because despite him generally being an ass, and a womanizer, one day he will grow up, and if how he was with Max was any indication, he'll be an amazing father.

Just as I feel like I'm finally about to drift off I hear the beep of the door being unlocked and it being opened...and just as expected the high pitch giggle of some random college chick. I clench my eyes closed and will myself not to hear them, but it's impossible. Even as they make their way back to the bedroom and the door closes, I can still hear them. Guess I'm going to have to buy earplugs, but for now, I'm stuck listening to him having his fun while I lay here and try not to imagine that girl being me.

~*Jace*~

"Shorty...Shorty wake up" I say, poking at her bare shoulder. The most I get out of her is an inaudible mumble of something as her face is pushed up against the back couch cushions. She must have been too tired to even pull out the bed.

I've been sitting here, watching her sleep for what feels like hours now. Creepy, I know, but I couldn't help myself. She just looked so beautiful lying here. It's not like I've touched her or anything, unless you count brushing the hair out of her face. There's just something about her, and it's driving me mad. I know it has everything to do with Mom and her little pep talk before we left while Max was out showing off the recent additions to his 'pad', as he likes to call it.

They've all been saying it ever since I can remember. 'Oh you and Clary are perfect for each other', 'The two of you belong together', 'Can you imagine how gorgeous your children would be'...yeah, highly irritating and if anything it kept me away from her even more than I was doing myself, because I'm stubborn like that. But this time, what she said was so different from all the other times.

"Jace, while Max has Clary busy, there's something I want to say to you before you two leave."

I roll my eyes, knowing that it's going to be the same thing I've been hearing forever. But I'll listen, because it's Mayrse, the woman that has raised me as her own since I was just a little boy, the woman I call mom...and if there's one thing I hate doing, it's disappointing her.

"Forget about your past with Clary. When you're with her, only think about the present, and your future. I know you like to have your fun, but someday you're going to want to settle down and have a family. You need to think about who you want your partner to be. Because just like your vows said...'it is not only marrying the right person, but being the right partner'. She could be the right partner for you, and if you don't open your eyes now, while you still have a chance, you could lose her."

"How did you know that was in the vows?" I asked, incredulously.

"Jocelyn and I watched the tape last night while you were all out in the backyard. As soon as I heard them I knew...sweetie, those were your mother and fathers vows. Stephen and Celine wrote the ceremony together. Now I don't have any idea where Magnus found them, but he used them for a reason...go back listen to the words you spoke, even if you weren't taking them seriously at the time. "

I couldn't say anything. Just the thought that I spoke the same words to Clary that my parents spoke to each other had me tearing up. I barely managed to hold them back we heard the crack of the door from the garage opening, and Clary and Max walking back laughing.

Mayrse leaned in and wrapped her arms around me, speaking quietly. "I know you're scared, but it's okay to let her in."

Needless to say, I haven't been able to think of anything since. It has me thinking and re-thinking everything I thought to be true about me and Clary. And she's right, Clary wouldn't have done this if she didn't care about me on some level. I have no doubt that even if I hadn't offered her anything in return, she would have still done it. Because that's the type of person Clary is.

I wanted to tell her when we got here. Tell her that I wanted to see if we could be something, but the second I woke up on that plane and looked at her, I completely lost the nerve. There was something so sad and lost in her eyes, and all I could think was that this girl has spent so long hating me, why would she even give me a chance now. She deserves so much better than me.

So I went out to the hotel bar and found some random girl, I don't know if I even asked her her name. She was pretty, and smart...said that she was in law school and could actually manage to have a conversation. But frankly, burnt toast has more personality than her, and the whole time we were together, I couldn't stop wishing it was Clary.

Clary is smart...really smart. When Seelie dropped out of school, Clary took her place as valedictorian. She's funny, and is quick to have a witty comeback for all of my sarcastic remarks. And she's beautiful, in that way that girls don't think they're anything more than average and don't even try, but they're actually gorgeous.

I guess sitting here watching her sleep, I thought I could figure it all out. But all I've managed to figure out is that I want her, more than I think I've ever wanted anything and I'm terrified that if I give myself to her the way she deserves, she'll break me.

"Clary, it's time to wake up, I have coffee" I say again, rubbing her back gently.

Finally she turns over enough to look at me and she has a smile on her face. "Jace, what are you...oh...right, Costa Rica, Starkweather, breakfast...got it. Give me a minute" she says, stretching before getting up and running back towards the bedroom.

When she comes back out, I notice her hair is still messy, half up and half down. As my eyes travel down her body I nearly choke on my coffee when I realize that once again she's in nothing but a tank top and a pair of panties. Is she trying to kill me?

When we were in bed together at her parents and she was like that it took every ounce of my self control to keep my hands off of her, and that was when I thought I didn't like her. And waking up with her arms wrapped around me, her head on my chest, felt better than I could ever possibly describe. But if this is how she's going to look just before our meetings, I'm going to have a really hard time concentrating on anything but her.

She rubs her eyes and looks back towards the bedroom "where's the soprano screamer?"

"Eh, sent her back to her room."

"That's too bad, I was looking forward to the awkward morning after when she asks who I am and I tell her I'm your wife" she smirks, pouring herself another cup of coffee.

"Sorry to disappoint."

"Maybe tomorrow. So, what do I need to wear to this breakfast?"

"Whatever, it's casual...just introductions and going over the schedule while we're here."

"No problem, I'll be ready in 20" she says, heading back to the bedroom and shutting the door.

It certainly would have been funny to see the girls reaction, but Clary won't get that chance. I'm done sleeping around. I've got a month to get that girl to fall in love with me, and until I figure out how to do that, I plan to steer clear of her and any other girls. I can't afford to screw this up.

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Aww, yay, so Jace isn't a complete asshole, he's just...conflicted. And now he wants to make Clary fall in love with him, hmmm...wonder how hard that's gonna be. Knowing Jace, he's gonna make it harder than it needs to be.


	12. Chapter 11

So, I know this isn't much after taking more than a week to update, but I hope some of you will be happy with it. Things are kind of hectic here right now...my husband and I are in the process of starting a business and my oldest daughter starts Kindergarten next Tuesday. Going to try and dedicate at least a little bit of time each night before bed to writing, and hope to have the next chapter up for you by this time next week. Thank you all so much for the great reviews...it's what keeps me coming back to write.

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When Clary stepped back out of the bedroom, dressed in a pale green sundress and gold sandals, her hair partially pinned up, I couldn't get over how perfect she looked. So different than all of the other girls that I've been with who always tried way to hard...overdoing their makeup, or wearing things that were for no other purpose than draw attention to their boobs or ass.

"How do I look?" she said with a smile as she turned around slowly, the bottom of the dress flaring out from her legs just slightly.

"You look great, but..." I trailed off as I leaned towards her and released the couple of pins she had in her hair and put them in her hands "you look better with your hair down, now you're perfect."

I loved the blush that crept up her cheeks as she leaned forward trying to hide it with her hair. I held out my hand to her.

"Ready to go?"

"Ready as I'll ever be"

As we headed towards the lobby we laughed about the people their for spring break, primarily at the two guys in our hallway alone that had passed out before even making it into their rooms.

We waited around the lobby for only about ten minutes when an older couple came in, him in a business suit, and her in a dress very similar to Clary's but in purple. He immediately found us and reached his hand out.

"Jonathan Herondale, it's nice to finally meet you, and you are..." he asked, taking Clary's free hand in his.

"Clarissa Herondale. Mr. Starkweather, your reputation precedes you...top 10 in real estate development, Business Monthly for the last 15 years, first to receive the Eclipse award for most LEED certified developments, it's truly an honor to meet you." she said with a big smile on her face.

"Oh please Clarissa dear, call me Hodge, and this is my wife Sara. It's so nice to see that you've taken an interest in researching who your husband is interested in doing business with."

"Thank you, Hodge, I feel it's important to be informed."

"Of course, shall we head for breakfast?" he said, motioning towards the hotel restaurant.

Hodge and his wife, Sara headed towards the restaurant with Clary following closely behind. But I was frozen in place, watching her. She was simply incredible, and now I understood what mom had said about the right partner. I hadn't given her any of that information, or asked her to look it up...and she took it upon herself to do it anyway because she knew that it would give us a better chance. In that moment all I wanted to do was take her in my arms and kiss her.

So when she paused and turned with a smile on her face and asked if I was coming, instead of speaking I stepped up to her, took her face in my hands and kissed her. It was quick, and light, not wanting to make a spectacle of ourselves standing here. When I pulled back, I put my forehead against hers and looked into her eyes, suddenly not afraid of what she would find when looking back into mine.

"Thank you" I whispered, running my thumb over her soft lips.

"For what?" she asked, searching my eyes.

"Just for being you" I said, kissing her again quickly before wrapping my arm around her shoulders and pulling her against me as we followed Hodge and Sara to our table.

~*Clary*~

As we sat at the table my mind couldn't help but be distracted by what happened before we came in here, and even what's happening now. Jace kissed me, and since then, he has been continuously touching me in some way, like he's afraid if he doesn't that I'm just going to disappear. Talk about confusing. Sure, I suppose I could chalk it up to him just playing the part of loving husband, but it feels too real. The way he looked into my eyes after that kiss, it was like he wanted me to really see him.

"So, Jonathan, Isabelle tells me that you two finally tied the knot this weekend, making this a bit of a honeymoon for you two, congratulations." Hodge said with a smile.

"Yes, sir, we did...it ended up being perfect timing"

Sara reached over placing her hand over her husbands "It's so wonderful to see such a beautiful young couple working together in business, just as Hodge and I had. Are you planning on starting a family soon?" she asked, taking a sip of her drink...the implication had me nearly choking on mine.

Jace rubbed my back and took his other hand squeezing mine under the table before responding. "We haven't really talked about it"

"Well surely you must know if you want kids, I can't imagine you not...Hodge and I have seven...five girls and two boys. Our greatest accomplishments."

Hodge patted his wife's hand "Sara dear, let's not interrogate them, I'm sure the wedding itself was stressful enough."

"Oh, it's alright," Jace said, leaning over to kiss my temple "I do want children, and I'll have as many as my wife wishes to when she's ready."

And with that, I knew that I had to get out of there and get air. I excused myself to the ladies room and splashed some water on my face. I know I have to keep my head on straight, and keep myself from buying into this whole thing. I look at my reflection in the mirror and keep repeating 'it's not real' like a mantra, over and over.

When I come back to the table, Hodge and Jace are deep in conversation, and I listen politely without interrupting.

Hodge finishes the last of his breakfast, and places the silverware down. "Now, Jonathan, what has me concerned the most is that Herondale Investments seems to be floundering. There's no clear direction, and it seems like the choice of investments over the years varies widely with no clear intentions."

I look over at Jace who looks pale and like he's afraid that we've already lost the deal. I slide my hand under the table and gently squeeze his knee. He looks at me, and I can see the panic in his eyes. Then I turn to Hodge.

"With all due respect Mr. Starkweather, Jace is 27 years old. He was given no formal training on running the company. When his father Stephen passed, it was run by his friend Michael Wayland, who frankly didn't have a clue what he was doing. Once Jace reached legal age he took over the company and has been learning as he goes, trying to undo ten years of mistakes that were made before his leadership. Surely if you look over the documents Isabelle has provided you, you can see the changes that have been made. It certainly doesn't help that his direct competition holds a grudge against him since our high school days and looks to undercut him every chance he gets. Now...Jace's vision for the future of Herondale Industries is clear, and precise and given the opportunity I believe that he can be an industry leader, but he needs your assistance to do that."

Jace, Hodge and Sara's eyes were all on me. Jace looked amused, Sara looked stunned, and Hodge just looked like he was trying to figure out how to respond to that. I took another sip of my drink and looked at the bangle watch on my wrist before turning to Jace.

"Honey, we're going to be late for our tour if we don't head back to our room for our stuff." I said, pushing myself from the table and standing up. Jace followed suit.

"Yes we are. Mr. Stark...I mean Hodge, Sara, it's been a pleasure to meet with you and I will see you again at the meeting on Thursday."

"That sounds great" Hodge said, standing to shake our hands "I'd also love it if next week you could spend some time at our offices here to see how we run things, both of you are welcome. And I think I speak for both myself and my wife in saying you have excellent taste in women young man. Your potential with this girl by your side is unlimited."

"Thank you" Jace said, as he took my hand in his and lead me back to our room in silence. I knew there was a chance that he was going to be pissed that I did that. But I couldn't help myself. Maybe I was the wrong choice for this...I never have been able to keep my mouth shut when I should, especially when I feel like someone I care about is being attacked.

Once we entered the room and Jace closed the door behind us, I went over and folded up the sheets and the blanket on the couch, trying to occupy myself while I waited for Jace to say something about what happened.

"Are you mad?" I asked, as he stood at the sliding doors leading out to the pool, just staring at the view.

"Mad...what, at you?" he asks, turning around to face me.

"Yeah, for what I said to Hodge."

"No, I just want to know why."

"Why, what?"

"Why did you say that to him?"

"Ugh" I huffed, sitting on the couch with my head in my hands "I don't know, I just didn't like the way he was talking to you, questioning your abilities. I read the packet Isabelle sent him...did he? I bet he didn't even crack open a page of it. He doesn't know you, he hasn't seen how you've completely thrown yourself into the company from the day it got handed to you, giving up everything you wanted for yourself...Julliard...hell, you gave up Julliard to run a company that you didn't even really want but felt obligated to run because it was your parents business. I swear Jace, if you didn't need the money from him, I'd tell him to take it and shove it where the sun don't shine...because dammit, you're too good to have someone like that backing you."

I'm not entirely sure why all of that just came out. I meant every word of it, but now, with the expression on his face being completely unreadable, I might have made a mistake giving my input at all.

"Say something, Jace" I plead, picking at the little burls of fabric on the throw pillow.

"I...I need to get out of here" he says, standing up and making his way to the door, turning back just to grab his key card and slide it in his back pocket before he leaves.

I can only hope that he just needs some time to think things over and that I haven't completely ruined his chances with Starkweather. I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I was the reason for him losing everything.

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Just a note on the LEED award thing...that's not an actual award, there are levels of credentials that can be received, but to my knowledge the US Green Building Council doesn't give out an 'Eclipse Award' lol, totally made up for the benefit of my story...sorry USGBC!


	13. Chapter 12

I have no real excuse for the delay other than to tell any of you that are parents and considering enrolling your child into an online public school thinking you'll have more control over their education...don't waste your time. Just get the materials and homeschool them yourselves. Requiring a 5 yr old who can't read to take a standardized test w/ no assistance on their first day of school is just absolute BS.

Anyway...now that my little rant is done, a couple of notes about this chapter. I think many of you will like this one as the second half is a Jace POV, and we finally learn what the heck his running out was about. We also get to see a little more of Clary's insecurities coming out too.

You all have been amazing about reviewing, and I just love reading all of your thoughts and theories. I have 82 reviews right now and honestly I'm shocked at how many people love this story. Let's see how fast we can get to 100 reviews...id we do I may just get the next chapter up by tge end of the weekend...and trust me when I say, you're gonna wanna read that one ; )

Disclaimer: As per usual any references to TMI and its characters is not my own. The plot however is. Don't sue me, I'm broke.

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It's been five days. Five days since we arrived on the island. Four days since I thought I was doing the right thing by standing up for Jace to Hodge Starkweather...four days since Jace and I have had any kind of conversation. Clearly, I was wrong. Wrong for standing up for him, wrong for thinking that anything between us would change. I wasn't foolish enough to believe that we'd have any kind of real relationship, but I thought maybe we'd work towards being friends. The way he had said after the wedding that he wanted to be.

Instead I'm sitting here, alone once again in our room, packing the rest of my clothes back into my suitcase with plans to head back home to New York tomorrow night. There's no point for me being here. He doesn't need me for this, or it seems, even want me here anymore. So I'm leaving.

Since that morning when he asked me why I said what I did and abruptly left afterward, he hasn't said more than a few words to me each day, hasn't spent a single night here that I'm aware of, and any progress I thought we were making appears to have gone up in smoke. At least he was kind enough to give up the bedroom to me, not that I'm not sure he was spending the night in the comfort of someone elses bed anyway.

I don't know why I care. I shouldn't. This was never meant to be anything more than a business arrangement. It was my own stupidity to allow my head and my heart to, even for a moment, hope for more. I've had my fun though, seen the sights...taken tours of the island, toured a coffee plantation, seen Arenal volcano, the hot springs, waterfall gardens. Pretty much anything to keep myself occupied, and attempt to keep myself from thinking too much of a particularly infuriating golden boy who I was, without a doubt, falling in love with. Until his epic blow off, of course.

Now my last night on the island I'm planning on having one last hurrah. One last bit of fun as I head to the hotels night club dressed in an incredibly skimpy royal blue satin dress that hugs what little curves I have. All with the intention of finally breaking my 'swearing off men' policy. As Izzy once told me, just because I don't want a relationship, doesn't mean I can't still satisfy my sexual needs. It never really bothered me before now, sex just didn't seem all that important after what Sebastian did. But Izzy was right, this could be my new beginning.

I wasn't a bit surprised to see how packed the place was. Wall to wall bodies pushed up against each other. A line of people at the bar waiting for drinks. I decided to head there first, knowing that even though I was prepared for this, I would need a bit of liquid courage to get me through. Luckily the bartenders were quick and as I stood there waiting for my shots to be poured, someone caught my attention from the corner of my eye. Clearly checking me out as he pushed himself back from the edge of the bar and made his way over to me, a drink in his hand.

"Don't you look ravishing this evening," he said with the slightest hint of an accent that I couldn't really place. His smile was just a little too bright to be natural, but he seemed friendly so I threw caution to the wind.

"You don't look so bad yourself, my name's Clary, what's yours?"

He slipped my hand into his and brought it to his lips, placing a kiss to the back of it. I tried ignoring the part of my brain that kept telling me that his touch didn't feel as good as Jace's and plastered a smile on my face. He was the last person that I needed to be thinking about right now, especially when he's probably out doing the same thing I am.

"Beautiful name for a beautiful girl, mine is Raphael...would you like to dance?"

I looked out to the dance floor and back to the bar where my two shots of tequila now sat. I grabbed them and slammed them back quickly and let Raphael pull me out to dance. I couldn't help feel slightly uncomfortable when he wasted no time, puling me back against his chest and grinding himself into my backside as his hands trailed up and down my sides, but kept telling myself that it was just because I hadn't been close to anyone like this in so long.

Several songs later and he was making his move, sliding my hair to the side and sucking on my neck. His hands, which had been waist height or above just a few minutes ago had slid down to the hem of my dress and sliding ever so slightly up underneath it. Maybe it was the alcohol or something else entirely when I closed my eyes and the only image that came to me was Jace. This time, I didn't push it away. If anything, I held on to it even tighter, the desire for it to be his hands slipping up my thighs, his lips kissing my neck, his golden eyes staring into mine. Even if I knew I could never be good enough for him, I allowed my mind to just this once imagine that I was.

~*Jace*~

I screwed up. Big time screwed up, and I don't even know if there's any chance of me fixing it. I am absolutely, without question in love with Clary. Now, everything that I thought mattered...my parents business, this business deal with Hodge...simply doesn't if I don't have her. It's ridiculous to think that I've wasted so much time that I could have had with her all these years if I would have just woken up and realized how amazing she was sooner.

I'm not even sure why the hell I ran out on her after the breakfast with Hodge. I wasn't mad at her, I was fascinated by her...impossibly drawn to her. Her tiny but curvy little body, her fiery red hair, those endless green eyes and those lips. Oh those lips and the way she bites on her lower lip when she's nervous...it was just driving me crazy looking at her. Then there's the passion that came out when she was defending me to Hodge, and telling about why she had. Julliard. Even though our interactions had been limited and I never made a big deal of it, still she somehow knew what it meant that I had given up my dream of going to Julliard. In that moment all I wanted to do was take her in my arms, carry her back to the bedroom and worship every single inch of her body the way she deserved.

But I couldn't do it. I was afraid. These feelings I have for Clary came on so suddenly, and so intensely that I wasn't really sure how to handle it, or if she even had any feelings for me herself. And instead of doing the adult thing, I did what I always do best. I closed up and bolted. Something I'm definitely not proud of.

Most of that day I spent sitting on the beach looking out at the water and wondering what I could ever do to deserve someone like her loving me. The truth of the matter is that I never really did anything great in my life. I did what I had to do to get by. Even taking over the business was something that, while done mostly out of a feeling of obligation to my parents memory, was the easy way out. It killed me to give up the dream of Julliard, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel somewhat relieved that I wasn't taking that path...too afraid that I'd fail and be a disappointment. To my parents, to Mayrse and Robert, even to Isabelle and Alec.

But maybe, maybe if I could do this business deal with Hodge without Clary's help, maybe she would see that I too could be a good partner. Maybe then I'd be worthy of her loving me. So when I got back to our room that afternoon and found her napping on the couch, I left a note for her that she could take the bedroom and not to wait up for me and went straight to Hodge's office. Explaining to him that I was really interested in learning all of the ins and outs of the business from one of the best, he put me right to work. Letting me shadow him and one of his top executives, even letting me sit in on virtual meetings with clients and colleagues around the world.

My nights were late, and early mornings I would hit the hotel gym for an hour, shower and get dressed for the day, only stopping back to the hotel room for a quick breakfast and I was back out the door. My conversations with Clary were short and not the slightest bit detailed. What can I say, I wanted to surprise her. She told me about all the places she was going and things she was getting to see, and how she'd never had such amazing sites to pick from to draw before and that her sketchpad was filling up fast.

Every time she told me about another tourist spot, I ached to have been there to experience it with her. To see the way her eyes lit up and the way she would sit and draw in silence, her tongue slipping ever so slightly between her lips as she concentrated on getting the scene before her just right. But I hoped that when I impressed Hodge and managed to land the funding for the business on my own, that maybe she'd understand why I hadn't been around. That it would be worth it.

I had no idea how wrong I was. Being a Saturday it was easy to get out of the office a little early and I was happy to hear that tomorrow the office was closed and I would have a whole day to spend with Clary. So on the way back to the hotel I stopped by a tiny art supply store that one of the office secretaries had directed me to and picked Clary up a couple of fresh sketchbooks and a couple of sets of pencils...one all varying thicknesses of graphite, and the other a high quality set of colored pencils.

When I got back to our room, my heart was racing as I slid the key card into the lock and it beeped its acceptance. I couldn't wait for her to see what I had bought her, and had already decided that I was going to ask her to dinner and finally tell her how I felt about her...ask her to consider giving us a real shot.

Instead what I found was a quiet and empty hotel room, only the dimming light from outside lighting the cozy living room. Hoping that she had just laid down for a while I made my way over to the bedroom door and knocked lightly. When there was no response I carefully opened the door only to find the bed empty. I was about to back out of the door way and head out to check the hotel restaurant to see if she had already gone to dinner when something caught my eye and I opened the door wider. On the bed sat her suitcase, fully packed, her carry on bag next to it. She was leaving.

I sat there on the edge of the bed for a while wondering why the hell I had been so damn stupid. Of course she would want to leave. As far as she knew I didn't want to be around her or spend any time with her, and even when we were together I didn't say much of anything. I had left her completely alone on an island where she knew no one. Surprised by the tears welling up in my eyes at the thought of losing my chance with her I pushed the palms of my hands into my eyes to stop them, and then looked over at her bags, spotting her sketchpad perched on top.

I knew it was a bad idea to snoop, she always seemed really private about her drawings but I just had to see what was in there. What I found gave me the resolve I needed to get up and go after her. Interspersed through all of her sketches of the places that she'd seen on the island were sketches of me, of us, of us with children. It was the first time that I felt that just maybe she returned the feelings I was having for her, and I wasn't going to give her up without a fight.


	14. Chapter 13

**Hey everyone, you did it, got me to 103! You're all amazing! Thank you so so much for the reviews. You have no idea how happy I was to read each and every one of them as they put a smile on my face in the midst of what has been a couple of 'horrible, no good, very bad days' This almost didn't make it today, but I made a promise so I sat down and forced myself to do another read-through and edit. Hopefully, you'll be pleased with it...and hopefully the slightly longer length makes up for the last couple of chapters that were lacking in that area. **

**Quick note about the time line as someone pm'd me, a little confused about how Jace getting to the hotel room coincided with Clary being at the club. In my head, Jace and her had literally just missed each other. So Jace getting to the room and then what follows in this chapter happens immediately after Clary leaves the room. **

**I will leave the rest of the notes for the end of the chapter, please be sure to read them as there is some pretty important information for those that want to continue to follow this story.**

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~*Jace*~

One I had made my decision I took a quick shower and threw on fresh clothes. I may have spent just a little more time than necessary messing with my hair, but there's no way I was taking ay chances. Sure, my looks have had no problems landing me a girls, but they seem to have no affect on Clary so I feel like I have to go the extra mile for her.

Figuring that she was leaving the next day, she would likely stick close to the hotel so I headed to the first place I could think of...the restaurant. As I got closer and closer the pace of my steps increased in anticipation. I had three missions to accomplish. One, find Clary, two, tell her that I love her, and three, beg her not to leave. If that meant there was groveling involved, I was prepared to do it.

When I entered the restaurant I was greeted immediately by the overly cheerful hostess whose smile was just a little too forced to be real. I asked if she had seen my wife,

describing Clary in detail but she just replied that she didn't know...completely uninterested in anything I had to say, or of anything around her. If it was a year ago I probably would have complained to her manager, but suddenly being around Clary has me not wanting to be such an ass. Besides, the girl is probably just mad that she's stuck working on a Saturday night when all of her friends are out partying.

I remember those days. Fresh out of high school and a feeling of having the world at your feet. Sure, mine were a little tied down, being in charge of bringing back a struggling business from the brink of closure, but I had more than my share of fun. It was always me, Isabelle, Jon, Alec, Magnus, Seb and Clary. Our own little crew of sorts that would hit up the same club night after night. Drinking and dancing until the place closed, leaving us only a few precious hours of sleep before we had to be up and on the move, to school or work. But even though Clary and I had never been buddy-buddy with each other, thinking back I always had my eye on her.

I never thought too much of it, trying my best to only find her as an annoyance in my otherwise perfect world. Truth is though, I was jealous. She was always so carefree and smiling. Completely, blindly in love with Sebastian who I knew, even back then wasn't good enough for her. If only I knew then what I know now. I would have been the one to take her away from that controlling ass and show her what real love looked like. Live like my parents had. I can only hope that she'll let me be that person now.

Fortunately the hostesses indifference to her job worked in my favor, allowing me to slip past her and look for Clary myself. The place was pretty busy, but to my disappointment, she wasn't there.

The though briefly crossed my mind to check the nightclub but I knew enough about her to know that wasn't her scene anymore...maybe it never was. So I went to the only other place I could think of, the lounge. The place was a cozy little piano bar with wine red walls and black couches set up around low tables. A place that was definitely more her style. She wasn't there either though, so I made my way over to the bar asking for a shot of whiskey to steady my nerves and give me a few minutes to keep thinking of where the hell she might be. The club kept popping in my head. Not this one, but Pandemonium back home where we all hung out. It only took closing my eyes to have flashes of a night long gone by, the weight of it hitting me like a ton of bricks. It's not surprising that I had never remembered it before. Those were the days where I numbed everything with alcohol and women, lucky on more than one occasion that I hadn't landed myself in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. But this memory, seemed so vivid now that I wanted to kick myself repeatedly for having ever allowed it to get buried with all the other bullshit I pushed to the back of my mind.

_It was late, around two in the morning and we had been partying hard for the last five hours. Izzy's birthday bash had been mandatory attendance for all of us, even though we hadn't hung out much in the last year. And though I would never say it to her face there was a reason for that. I couldn't stand being around all of them, all happy and joyful about their lives while I was alone, stuck behind a desk with a business I didn't even want. _

_All of us were plastered and it seemed like I struck gold when Katie Clarke, the preachers daughter came up to me with a sweet smile on her face, her breasts practically hanging out of the white dress she was wearing that looked like it was made of some kind of spandex material that would have made a decent leotard, but just made her look trashy. Which she was, having been the stereotypical preachers kid...sweet as candy around her parents but a real wild child underneath. But I didn't care, she was just the flavor of the night. So when she pulled me down the back hallway towards the restrooms, I wasn't complaining._

_I would have pinned the girl to the wall for a quickie if something hadn't grabbed my attention before we disappeared into the ladies room. On the floor in the dark corner of the hallway was an easily recognizable head of fiery red hair. I asked Katie to give me a minute and she reluctantly obliged with an eye roll._

_As I moved closer to where Clary was sitting, knees pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around them, her face buried behind them, I immediately noticed the way her shoulders shook as if she was crying. The sight alone was all wrong. It wasn't the snarky tough girl that I had seen with a smile on her face all night, laughing and dancing, wrapped up in Sebastian's possessive arms._

_I kneeled down in front of her and reached my hand out covering hers. "Clary, are you okay? What happened?" My voice shook slightly as she looked up at me with red rimmed eyes that still glistened with unshed tears. Even with the little bit of makeup she had on streaked down her face she was beautiful. I could admit that much, Clary could be incredibly infuriating but she was so, so beautiful. And seeing her, broken down and weak like this was heartbreaking._

_"Jace, what are you doing here?" she asked in whisper, rubbing the back of her hands across her cheeks. _

_"I'm here for Izzy's party, didn't you see me earlier when we all got here?" _

_"I know that, I mean what are you doing back here with me?" _

_"Oh, I was just..." I turned to look over at Katie who was propped up against the wall inspecting her nails, not really wanting to answer that question. Being seen as a player had never bothered me, but for some reason I didn't want Clary seeing me like that. _

_When I looked back at Clary, I could see she was looking where I had just been, understanding clear on her face. _

_"Sorry to interrupt your evening, I'm fine Jace, thanks for asking" she sighed as she stood up and pushed herself off the ground, listing slightly to the side as she did. She'd definitely had plenty to drink, and there was no way I was leaving her like that. _

_"You're not interrupting anything" I allowed the words to rush out of my mouth and they were met with a huff from behind us. I rolled my eyes, not really caring what the hell Katie was thinking, it's not like she couldn't go right back out to the dance floor and find someone else to drag back there. _

_Clary's brows furrowed in confusion. "I'm not?" _

_"No, you're not, now just tell me what happened, why are you crying?" _

_"It's nothing, just...Sebastian said some really mean crap about me being a shitty drunk when I wouldn't have sex with him a few minutes ago, and told me he'd just get it elsewhere...I just...I don't know, can you just, get me out of here? I don't want to go back to Seb's place tonight." _

_"Yeah, of course" I said, putting my hand on the small of her back and guiding her out to the entrance of the club, not even sparing a glance for Katie. She'd survive. "We can go to my place" _

_I managed to get a cab fairly quickly and as soon as we were seated Clary drifted off to sleep, her head falling to the side and coming to a rest on my shoulder. It was a short ride, I only lived maybe ten blocks away at the apartment that had been my parents, well...it was more of a house, just, the entire top floor of the office building that had been converted because my father insisted that his family be close by if he had to be working. _

_She looked so peaceful in her sleep that rather than waking her, I paid the driver and scooped her up in my arms and carried her into the building, putting my key into the elevator when we were inside, and within minutes I had laid her down in the bed. You'd think that the carrying her would have woken her, but it wasn't what did it. What did was me pulling the blankets up to cover her. _

_Suddenly she sat up and looked around, her eyes taking in her surroundings with a look of confusion until they settled on me and a smile smile crossed her face. _

_"Jace" _

_"Uh, yeah, you were sleeping so I just carried you up and put you in my bed. I'm, um...gonna sleep on the couch." _

_Her mouth opened and closed like she was going to say something so I waited. Finally, the look on her face became lighter, a little sparkle shining in her eye as a smirk grew on her face. _

_"Do you maybe have some clothes I could borrow to sleep in? This dress isn't entirely comfortable." _

_"Yeah, sure, let me get them for you" I said before turning and going into my closet and pulling a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt out of one of the drawers for her. _

_"These will probably be huge on you" I called out, walking back into the bedroom, "but at least they'll be comfortable" the last words came out barely audible as I looked up from the floor to find her standing there in nothing but a dark purple and black lacy bra and matching panties. I immediately lowered my hands with the clothes still in them to cover the rapidly growing bulge in my pants. We may not get along well, but I'm still a guy, and seeing her like that...nearly naked and biting down on her lip made me just want to throw her onto the bed and fuck out the frustration I felt whenever I was around her. _

_"Clary," my voice cracked "what are you doing?" _

_Her shoulders squared and she walked up to me and started undoing the buttons of my shirt, pushing it off of my shoulders when she was done. The clothes I had brought out for her were quickly forgotten and dropped to the floor as I stood there as still as a statue, still not entirely sure what she was doing. When she went for the button of my jeans is when I snapped out of my daze, putting my hands over hers. _

_"Clary, stop." _

_"I can't, Jace. I mean...I don't want to. I want you to touch me. You do like what you see, don't you?" Her voice trembled slightly and I took it as her being insecure, something that, with that body she definitely should be. _

_"God yes, you're gorgeous, but WHY are you doing this? Is it because of what Sebastian said, because I don't think cheating on him is the way to fix that problem." _

_"Never said it was. Listen, I'm getting married in less than two months to someone that I'm pretty sure has been cheating on me since the day we got together, and that's fine, I'm okay with that I think. I love him. But he's also the only person I've ever had sex with. I guess I just want to see what I'm missing out on. Plus, I'm drunk, you're drunk there's no reason not to" She shrugs, winding her hands up around my neck and digging her nails lightly into my hair. My resolve almost cracks in that moment, it feels so good. But I can't help but feel the overwhelming urge to beg her not to marry him. Why would someone as beautiful as her, that could easily have any guy they want accept being in a relationship, especially married to, someone who didn't respect her enough to stay faithful. _

_I place my hands on her hips, caressing the silky smooth skin of her waist with my thumbs and lean down to whisper in her ear. "And you're sure you want to do this with me? You hate me." _

_"I don't hate you, Jace" she says, pulling back and looking into my eyes forcing me to look away "and yes I'm sure I want it to be you" _

_"Why?" I lean back into her again and start kissing up and down her neck. If she wants to stop, I will, but there's no way I can hold out much longer. _

_"Because, you're safe. I know you won't hurt me. I need it to be you" _

_And with that I left nothing more to be said as I cupped her ass with my hands and lifted her. She wrapped her legs tightly around my waist and carried her to the bed, swiftly doing away with the rest of the clothing that separated us. We explored each others bodies for what felt like hours and just when things were really starting to heat up a rather important thought popped into my head. One that had me even more grateful that Clary had pulled me away from that almost fling back at the club. _

_"Shit, Clary" I said, putting my forehead down on her shoulder "I don't have any condoms." _

_I started to pull back, but she locked her legs around me holding me into place, causing me to chuckle at how strong she was for such a tiny woman. _

_"Oh no, you're not backing out on me now. Besides, it's one time, and based on when I had my period there's almost no chance that I'll get pregnant. Now, would you please just shut up and have sex with me?" _

"Fancy seeing you here" the shrill voice brought me out of the memory that I was locked in. How the hell could I forget that I had sex with Clary. I remember it so clearly now. I had been completely blown away being with her. Every curve of her body fit mine perfectly and the way my name slipped from her lips had me ready to go for round two as soon as we were done with the first.

The girl standing next to me was still talking, I could see her lips moving, but nothing she was saying was really registering in my brain. It was the same girl that I had stupidly brought back to the hotel room that first night thinking that somehow that would put Clary out of my mind. Oh how stupid I had been.

Deciding to check the last place that Clary might be, I grabbed the shot of the bar in front of me that had been placed there after finishing my last one and slammed it back. Plastering a smile on my face, I nodded to the girl. "Excuse me, but I need to find my wife." If I wasn't in such a hurry to find Clary and tell her everything, including asking her why she never told me about that night, I probably would have found the way her jaw dropped rather humorous.

The place was packed wall to wall but as if my eyes were trained to find her I instantly picked her out of the crowd. And when I did, what I saw made my blood boil. She was dancing with some random guy, her head thrown back against his shoulder, her eyes closed...clearly enjoying what he as doing to her as his hands roamed up her thighs under her dress.

I wasted no time in storming up to them and ripping the guy away from her. His eyes looked at me, shocked as he put his fists up, ready to fight. "Keep your fucking hands off my wife" I spat at him.

"Whoa, whoa...wife? She never said anything about being married."

Clary chose that moment to step in between us. "Oh, now I'm your wife?" she glared at me, arms crossed over her chest.

"Yes, you are, now lets go before I feel the need to remove this...mans hands from his body" I say, placing my hand on her arm, which she instantly pulled away from.

"Oh hell no, Jace. You don't get to do that. I'm having FUN, the same kind of fun that you've been having every night this week. If it's good enough for you, then it's good enough for me."

"Come on Clary, lets just go back to the room and talk." I said as I leaned over and spoke in her ear.

"No, I'm not going anywhere. What...afraid your precious investor Hod..." before she could even get the rest of that sentence out of her mouth I clamped my hand over it. Alright, so maybe the whole keeping it a secret to surprise her had been a stupid idea but clearly she wasn't going to listen to me here. So, I did the one thing I could think of in that moment when I wrapped my arm around her waist and hoisted her up over my shoulder, using the other hand to hold her dress and keep it from flying up and walked her back out of the club and towards our room.

She was kicking and thrashing the best she could until we made it to our hallway when she went still with a deep sigh of resignation. Suddenly I had the feeling that tonight was about to get very interesting.

* * *

**So...that happened. Oh, wait...you thought I was going to put them together for real in this chapter? Muahahaha. It's coming my lovelies, I promise we're getting there. But this chapter absolutely had to happen. This is in fact what originally popped into my head as the catalyst for the entire story, so I've been waiting like an impatient toddler to be able to post this chapter. Some of you may love me for it, others may hate me for it. But if you read the early chapters carefully, you may see some things in this chapter that make those little hints that I wrote way back then make a little more sense. Or, at least, set you on a path that you might be able to come up with some theories...all of which I'd love to read in the reviews. **

**What do you think about the fact that Clary and Jace had shared a night together, that Jace clearly didn't remember until now...do you think Clary remembers? **

**Believe it or not, this chapter actually does set up Sebastian coming back in the picture at some point...I know someone had asked before if he'd be back...he definitely will be. **

**IMPORTANT NOTE: **

**This chapter did have a little sexy stuff in it, but I didn't feel it was racy or explicit enough to warrant an M rating. That will likely change in the next couple of chapters, so if you do not alter your search settings to include M rated stories, you will need to make sure you follow the story so you get emailed when I update as I will be upping the rating when appropriate. If you don't change settings, and don't have a FF acctbut still want to know when I post, feel free to pm me with your email addy and I'll send a quick note with link when I update.**


	15. Chapter 14

**Okay, so this isn't super long...but you were all so enthused over the last chapter (I can't tell you how happy I am that you all loved it as much as I did!) and I didn't want to make you wait to see what happens. Plus, after this chapter I will definitely be switching to M rating, so I wanted to give a last 'warning' to anyone that may want to follow this story if they don't normally include M ratings in their searches.**

**More notes at the end of the chapter!**

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The second her feet touched the floor when I set her down inside our room, she pushed away from me as if her life depended on it. It stung a little as she glared at me, crossing her arms protectively over her chest and stormed over to stare out the french doors that led to our own private little patio area, that we had yet to even step foot into.

"Jace...if you have something so say, just say it. If you don't, then I'd like to go to bed now that you've ruined my plans for tonight." She sounded tired...defeated.

"And what plan was that Clary?" I ask, stepping closer to her, but still leave enough distance so that she won't feel like I'm intruding in her personal space. "Were you just going to go in there, and sleep with any guy that offered...which I assure you is probably 99% of them."

Shrugging her shoulders with a sigh, she turned her head to look at me, brow raised. "It works for you"

Yeah, somehow I knew that one was coming. But that's okay, because right now, there's only one thing that I'm interested in knowing.

"So was that your game plan the night of Izzy's 22nd birthday? Get into a fight with Sebastian, then go find whatever guy would take you home and sleep with you before you tied the knot with that jackass?"

The look of shock on her face told me what I needed to know. She remembered...and knew that I hadn't.

"Not exactly"

Watching her reaction carefully, I stepped a little bit closer so that she was less than an arms length away from me. She was beautiful standing there, and that dress, more than a little distracting. And now that I remembered what she looked like underneath that fabric, my hands itched to take it off of her and feel her silky skin again.

"So then you do remember."

"Of course I remember, Jace. I couldn't forget that night even if I wanted to. And no, I wasn't just looking for some random hook-up. It was meant to be you. Sebastian wasn't even supposed to be there that night. It was only by chance that he came back from his business trip to London two days early."

"God, Clary, why didn't you tell me? I mean, at some point you had to have realized that I didn't remember so why didn't you tell me?"

She turned to face me more directly, looking in my eyes as if she were searching for some answer there.

"I didn't tell you, because I figured that if it meant anything to you, you would have remembered. When did you remember, anyway?"

"Just tonight. I came back, and I was trying to find you. I kept thinking about checking the club, but then kept telling myself you wouldn't go there, and I guess the memory of that night just came back out of nowhere."

"Oh. So you remember...all of it?"

"Yes, I remember all of it. But you know what I remember most of all?" I asked, finally closing the space between us, and moving my hand to caress her cheek. This time she didn't pull away, and instead leaned into my touch.

"What?" she whispered, her eyes looking glassy as if she might cry looked up to me.

"I remember that when I was with you, nothing had ever felt more right in my life...like you and I were made for each other. I remember hoping that I wasn't just dreaming, that when I woke up you'd still be there. That you'd leave Sebas..."

"Jace...don't," she said in a warning tone as she stepped back from me and her eyes found the floor in front of her as she wrapped her arms around herself. She was closing down, retreating into her shell as I had seen her to so many time since I had met her. Any time that something was too much for her to deal with, that's how she handled it. I wasn't backing down though. I had already wasted too much time with her, and I knew if I didn't put it all out there, I might not get another chance.

"No, Clary, you have to listen to me." She still wouldn't look at me, and I realized why when I saw a tear fall from her face. I hooked a finger under her chin and lifted her face to look at me, but she kept her eyes closed tight. I wiped away the remaining wetness on her cheeks. "Shhh...baby, don't cry" I whispered to her, hoping she would let me back in.

She stiffened, but seemed to pull herself back together, stepping away from me once again and wiping the her face herself and went to sit on the edge of the coffee table facing me her hands gripping the edge.

"You don't need to do this, Jace. It was one night, five years ago. We were drunk. You don't need to pretend there were feelings there that weren't. It doesn't matter now anyway. This is just a business deal...one that you seem fully capable of handling on your own now so I'm going to fly back home tomorrow. I won't be here to cramp your style anymore and you will be able to actually enjoy the room you're paying for." Moving to get up and walk away, I stepped forward and put a hand on her shoulder stopping her before I sat on the couch, and pulled her legs around so that she was facing me once again.

"I'm not pretending...and I don't want this to be a business deal anymore."

"So you're backing out on your end of the deal?" She hissed in contempt.

I took a deep breath to prepare myself for what I was about to say and what her possible reaction to it could be. If she wanted to leave I wouldn't stop her...but I knew that if she did, I wouldn't ever be the same. Clary was it for me.

"That's not what I meant." I took her hands in mine, and held them firmly when she tried to take them back. Her brows furrowed in confusion. It was so adorable I couldn't help the smile that crept onto my face.

"I meant that I want it to be more than that. I...Clary, I love you."

Her back straightened up as she let out a little gasp.

"I don't know if I've always loved you and I was just too stupid and blind to see it, or if I was just fighting against how everyone else kept saying it was supposed to be, but it was stupid. That night, something changed between us...maybe even before then because there had to be a reason you wanted it to be me...why I stopped to see if you were okay that night. All I know is that even though I didn't remember that night when I woke up the next morning, I remember waking up and feeling like something was missing. And I think since then I've been wandering around in my life trying to figure out what the hell it was. I just didn't realize it was you until we got here. Now that we are though and I've finally pulled my head out of my ass, I don't want to lose you."

"You don't?" her voice cracked, but the smile on her face gave me hope.

"No, I don't. I mean if you don't feel the sa..."

~*Clary*~

"I love you, Jace" I cut him off. There was no point in him finishing that sentence, because even if I hadn't been ready to admit it before, I would have after that speech. I couldn't believe that he finally remembered that night, and that he had felt all the same things I had. If only I had known then that he did, maybe things would have turned out completely different.

There's still a lot to talk about...really important stuff that he needs to know, but right now I don't want to ruin the moment. Besides, he looks like he might be going into shock from me saying that. Did he really doubt that I could love him back?

"You love me?" He finally said with a bit of a smirk and his eyebrow raised.

"Yes. I knew I did that night. But then I just kept telling myself that I was imagining it...that I was just stressed out about the wedding and that I'd be fine. So I just kept burying it thinking that it didn't matter because you'd never love me anyway."

He chuckled at that "we're a couple of fools, you know?"

I couldn't help laughing myself, at just how right he was. "Yeah, I guess we are."

Suddenly his face got a very serious look to it. One that had me feeling slightly insecure, like he was about to pop out with some 'april fools' type shit. That would be classic Jace & Clary right there...always pulling pranks on the other. But I seemingly had nothing to worry about as he laid my hands down on my thighs and then trailed his hand slowly down one leg, pulling my foot up to rest on the couch between his and methodically undoing the strap of my heel without speaking a word, followed by the other.

The silence...the tension was so heavy in the room between us that when I spoke as he put the shoes down and pulled me up off the couch, it wasn't above a whisper.

"What are you doing?"

He tucked a stray curl behind my ear before leaning down and brushing his lips lightly against my own. It was sweet and reserved and it took everything in me not to pull his lips back to mine when he pulled away. The only thing stopping me was the look in his eye. I could see the love and the honesty there, but his eyes were darker now, lust filled and hungry...no doubt a replica of my own except for the color. His, always a shade of gold with flecks of brown. The eyes that for months after that night I had burned into my memory. The same ones that I imagined our baby having before...before that dream was cut short. God, if I hated Sebastian before, it was nothing compared to the seething hatred I felt for him now, knowing how Jace really felt, and that everything Seb had told me was a lie. Though I had to remind myself that I was just as much at fault...I should have fought harder for what I wanted. I only hope that when the time comes that I do have to tell Jace, that he doesn't hate me for it. But now is not the time to think about that...now is time for us.

"I'm taking you where I should have taken you as soon as we walked into this room the first night" he said with a smile, taking my hand in his and pulling me towards the bedroom. There's no measure for how much I want this, but I need to make sure it's what he really wants too.

"Jace, you do know if we do this, we can't get the marriage annulled, we'd have to get divorced to get out of it." I finshed just as we entered the room and he stopped abruptly, turning on me and pushing me against the back of the door until it was closed, and he then locked it. One of his hands found my neck, and the other my waist as he pressed himself against me and I could feel his growing need against me...only making me more impatient for the answer that he didn't want to stop.

He tilted my head to look into my eyes and my breath hitched.

"If you think, for one second, that I'm ever going to let you be anything other than Mrs. Herondale after this, you've lost your mind."

* * *

So, they're finally together! Yay! I think we all know where this is going now.

Though that doesn't mean the rest of this story will be all rainbows and unicorns. There's still a lot of issues these two have to deal with...Jace still hasn't told Clary where he's been all week, and there's still something he needs to tell her that he may or may not have done this week that might surprise you. Then there's Clary, needing to tell him about what really came of that night they were together and what happened after. Did Sebastian have something to do with it? And how will Jace react when he finds out...will he stick with Clary, or leave her?

I can't promise the next chapter will be up super fast, I have a crap-ton of stuff that I have to get done over the next few days. But I'll try not to keep you waiting too long now that we're getting to the good stuff with them being together.


	16. Chapter 15

**Okay...here it is, the first M rated chapter. If you are assuming this has a lemon in it, you've assumed correctly. This is one big fat chapter of lemon. There's some important dialogue in there too, so if you're one of the ones who doesn't really want to read the lemon stuff, but wants to know what's going on, just try to stick to the quoted portions.**

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_"If you think, for one second, that I'm ever going to let you not be Mrs. Herondale after this, you've lost your mind." _

When he spoke the words it was an epic moment in my life. One of those ones where you get something you never knew you really wanted, but then when you get it...it's ALL you want. In that moment I knew, Jace would be all that I would ever want. And man, did I want all of him, right now.

Thankfully, he wasted no time as the hand that had be clasped at the back of my neck slid down between my shoulder blades, the touch so gentle I shivered as he reached the zipper of my dress. Sliding it down with ease while one of his fingers ghosted the skin left behind. It was impossibly intimate. His forehead pressed against mine, neither of our eyes leaving the others for even a second until the zipper had reached its end and he lifted his other hand from my waist to my breast, pulling the strapless dress off of me and letting it pool at my feet.

It wasn't the only thing pooling though, my need for him was becoming increasingly present in my panties and I was sure that if we didn't move things along I was going to spontaneously combust. Slow and steady could wait...right now all I wanted to do was rip his clothes off, have him do the same to mine then throw me on the bed. So, in an effort to pick up the pace while he was tortuously kissing up and down my neck, I found the button of his jeans. But the second I moved to undo it, his hand was on mine, stopping me.

"Clary, don't. Not yet. I'm not forgetting this time, and I want to remember every minute of this being perfect." His voice was full of desperation.

"Jace" I said back mockingly, "this isn't our first time and we'll be able to do this whenever we want, right now, what I want is for you to fuck me."

He let out a huff and a quiet laugh. "Yes, well, as much as I plan on spending the rest of my life doing whatever I can to make you happy, this is the first time I will be with you as my wife, and I will not simply fuck my wife...ever. I will however make love to you...tonight and every night after."

How could a girl argue with that? But there was still so much uncertainty and things left unspoken that I needed to know it was for real. "Promise?" I whispered.

"I promise" he replied with a smile. One of those genuine ones that rarely graced his face, but I loved it all the same.

With that, I gripped my hands tighter around his neck and pulled his lips down to mine, swiping my tongue over them, begging him to let me in. When he did, he lifted my legs off the floor and wrapped them around his waist, carrying me over to the bed where he set me down in the middle and pulled away slowly, his eyes skimming over every inch of me.

Even with my bra and panties still on, I felt naked, and suddenly very self conscious. I hadn't been pregnant long, but it quickly took affect on my body. My breasts grew a cup size and weight was added to my hips and butt...two things that never seemed to go back to normal no matter how many times I had visited the gym after. The body he was looking at now, was noticeably different than the one he had seen five years ago.

As I quickly covered my chest with my arms, a look of sadness passed over his face. He hovered over me, leaning up and placing gentle kisses along my jaw up to my ear as he scooped his arm under me and pulled me up so that my head was now resting on the pillow.

"Don't hide from me, baby, you're beautiful" he whispered as he pulled my arms away from me, reaching behind my back to unsnap my bra as I clenched my eyes close, not wanting to see any disappointment in his eyes.

When it was off, I heard a sharp intake of breath from him, and within seconds his lips were on my breasts, fervently kissing each of them before he took one bud in his mouth, nipping and licking it as he tended to the other, rolling and pinching it between his fingers. I couldn't stop the moans escaping from me. He had complete control and I was just melting at his touch.

He pulled back and I opened my eyes to look at him and was shocked to find the way his face looked as he took me in, total reverence in his eyes. When he brought his lips up to mine I could tell that his resolve to keep this slow was faltering. The kiss was sweet and yet still filled with hunger. I lifted my knees to his hips and locked him in place as I unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it back off of his shoulders, taking my time to feel all of the dips and curves of his muscles. There was no denying that his body was an example of near perfection

His hands traveled down from where they cradled my face, down over my chest and my stomach, his lips following until he reached my panties where his eyes flashed up to mine and a smirk took over his face as he brushed the back of his fingers over them, feeling the dampness there. My fingers dug into the sheets at my side, fighting the urge to beg him to remove them and touch me. Though he did something even better as he leaned down and licked across the lace that covered me there, the sensation so different and so intense that I couldn't take it any more.

"Jace, please" I whimpered quietly.

Looking back up at me with another smirk on his face, he brought his face up to mine, kissing me quickly on the lips and then moving to the sensitive skin just below my ear, sucking on it and forcing me to release an even more needy moan than before.

"Please what, baby?" he whispered.

"Touch me" I pleaded. And he did, making quick work of sliding my panties down over my hips, his fingers sliding between my folds as his thumb worked my clit and he slid a finger into me. My hips bucked up into his hand involuntarily at the intensity of the feeling pulsing to my core. There was no way I could hold out much longer. The slow buildup of tension becoming nearly unbearable and I was desperate for release. Release that came quickly once he removed his thumb and replaced it with his lips and tongue, dipping in to taste every bit of me.

He sat back, a grin on his face as his hands slid over the skin of my trembling thighs and legs. He was giving me time to recover, but recovery time was the last thing I wanted. Sitting up I moved up on to my knees and reached forward to his jeans, popping the button and undoing the zipper, grateful that he wasn't stopping me this time. Instead he removed them, and we both sat there on our knees, his hardened cock between us, twitching with anticipation as I wrapped my hand around it and stroked its length.

Jace threw his head back and groaned. Liking the reaction I was getting from him I leaned down and licked the tip before pulling him into my mouth, tongue swirling around the tip as I moved up and down his shaft while his fingers tangled in my hair, pulling at its roots and yet holding me into place. My name came from his lips in a whisper as he pulled me up and looked into my eyes before pushing me back on the bed, lifting my leg and settling himself at my entrance. As crazy entranced as I was by what was happening between us, I pushed back on his shoulder stopping him.

"Condom, Jace" I reminded him, thinking back to how things ended up the last time we did this without one.

His shoulders slumped as he sighed and rested his head on my shoulder. "If I must" he mumbled almost too quietly to hear if it hadn't been so close to my ear. I pushed him back so I could look in his eyes, but he had them closed.

"Jace, look at me" he still wouldn't open them and leaned over to his pants at the end of the bed, pulling out his wallet and extracting a black foil wrapper. He looked at the package in his hand and about to rip it open, I stopped him, grabbing it out of his hands. "Look at me, Jace" I said again, more firmly, and he finally complied.

I furrowed my brows at him with a questioning look "did you not want to use this?"

He just shrugged his shoulders and went to grab it from my hand but I pulled it back from him before he could get it. I wasn't sure exactly what he was thinking, but all I knew was that I had to know what was going on in his mind right now.

"Just give it to me, Clary."

"No, not until you tell me what's going on with you."

"Nothing, now hand it over.

"No." I said, tossing it to the other side of the room, as his head turned to watch it where it landed. I laid my hand on his cheek, pulling him back to face me. "Please just tell me."

He sighed loudly, defeated. "It was stupid, I'm sorry, I should have figured that you wouldn't want to take that chance again."

I stiffened momentarily at the mention of before, but quickly recovered. Part of me wanted to tell him right then and there, but the other part of me said how inappropriate it was to bring it up while we're both naked and about to have sex, so I swallowed back the words. But I was intrigued by his response.

"Did you...want to take that chance?" I asked quietly.

He leaned over me and caressed my cheek gently with his hand, which made me sigh. There was just something so comforting about his touch that I would never get tired of.

"Yes" he said, surprising me with the amount of surety there was in his voice.

"Yes I want to take that chance. I know it's stupid, and probably a little bit crazy, especially since technically we're married under fraudulent circumstances and just decided we actually want to be together" he laughed lightly. "But I'm sure of this...of us. There's never going to be anyone I want more than you. My mom and dad conceived me on the first night of their honeymoon, and I guess I just figured...like I said...it was stupid."

"Jace, your feelings are never stupid and I don't want you to be afraid to tell me what they are."

He smiled at that "well, fine if we're talking feelings...I love you, but we're not getting any younger, if we're gonna have ten kids..." he trailed off as his smile got impossibly wider, probably from the look of shock on my face as my eyes widened and I mouthed the word 'ten'.

"God, Clary, you're gullible. I'm kidding. We can have as many babies as you want, when YOU are ready" he said, emphasizing that he was leaving the decision to me.

There was no doubt that I wanted to have children with Jace. Hell, I had wanted the first one more that I had ever thought I would, having been of the mindset at the time that I didn't want to bring kids into such a screwed up world. Now though, it was more a matter of this nagging feeling that even if we tried it wouldn't happen. That bastard had implied that much when he said that the doctor had better have sterilized me like he paid him to do. I didn't believe him then, figuring he was just once again using words to try and hurt me as he went on to tell me that the last thing this world needed was a child out there with my DNA. And when I brought up my concerns with another doctor, she had said that she didn't see anything out of the ordinary that would stop me from having a healthy pregnancy in the future. As much as I wanted to believe she was right, I had to let him know there was still a chance it wouldn't happen.

I placed my hands on each side of his face. "You know that even if we did, the timing would have to be perfect, just because your mom got pregnant with you right away doesn't mean it would happen that easily for us." I said, leaving out the part about knowing that if I could get pregnant now would actually be perfect timing. Knowledge that was strictly a perk of having cycles that were like clockwork ever since they started.

"Yeah, I know, guess it was just wishful thinking. But it doesn't matter...you just tell me when you want to. Now...I'm gonna go get that so we can get back to...you know" he said, blushing slightly. I don't think I'd ever seen Jace blush, but it was adorable.

"You know what I want?" I asked quickly before he could pull away from me.

"What?"

I leaned up, kissing up his jaw to his ear before I spoke, "I want you inside me...without that," I nodded to where I had tossed the condom. Consequences and unspoken words be damned. If there was a higher power, it seemed to be giving me a second chance and I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"You mean, you want to..."

"Yes, I do, now would you please just shut up and make love to me?" I smiled with a little laugh, ending the conversation the same way I had the first time we were in this position...with just a slight alteration to the words, because that's what this was. This was love. It was evident in the way he held me, and looked into my eyes as he pushed into me, filling me perfectly...kissing me hungrily. Jace hadn't been exaggerating when he said it was like we were made for each other. It was as if we were two puzzle pieces that would never fit with any other.

It didn't take long for either of us, the long anticipation had taken away any pretense of making it last as he pounded into me, holding my hips and keeping me tight against him. And just when I was getting close he reached between us, rubbing my clit again and forcing me to let go as the intense feelings of pleasure flooded my body while I moaned his name. His lips crashed to mine as he sped up to find his own release.

As we laid there in the afterglow, he shifted off of me, pulling me with him so that my head was laying on his chest...my leg thrown lazily over his. Jace sighed in contentment as he pushed my hair back and ran his fingers through it, trying to tame the curls that were strewn everywhere, sticking to our sweaty skin.

There was a lot that was different about being with Jace this time compared to the last, but the best part of it was knowing that at least this time...there was hope.

* * *

**Well, I guess there's only one thing to ask...what did you think of their first time as husband and wife? How about the conversation in the middle of it? **

**I think its finally becoming clear just how far Sebastian took things when it came to Clary's pregnancy, and I think it's clear now that it was indeed Jace's baby.**

**And on that note...who knew I could write that long of a chapter about nothing but sex! Woot! Until next time lovelies...**


	17. Chapter 16

**And finally, I'm back. For those of you that have been patient with me, it is very much appreciated. For those of you that haven't...my apologies. I wish your pleas for faster updates could make the story come out faster, but unfortunately it just doesn't work that way. I've been told that my writing is good, and if we want it to stay that way...well, it takes some time. Not to mention, starting a business and teaching a 5 year old while trying to care for a very precocious almost 3 year old is, to put it mildly...a pain in the ass. **

**That being said, I've put aside everything else tonight to get the edited and uploaded, knowing that I'll probably be kicking myself tomorrow when I'm dead tired and trying to finish an order of 100 cruffles that still have to be rolled, dipped and decorated before Sunday. I hope you love it! I really liked writing this chapter.**

* * *

I'm not really sure when we fell asleep, but waking up with Jaces' arms wrapped protectively around me as if he's afraid that I'll disappear, I'm struck by how perfect this moment is. My head, lying on his chest, rising and falling with each breath he takes as I look out through the billowing sheer curtains that provide little in the way of privacy, but allow the light to filter through as it creeps higher in sky, turning the inky black waters just a short distance from our room into a striking crystal blue. I want to remember this moment forever. I want to paint it and have it become a perfect fixture instead of just a memory.

Because I know that after today, there may not be another like it. I had toyed with the idea of not telling him at all as we laid wrapped up in each other after making love, but the way he looked at me before taking me again and told me that I was the love of his life and that he would die before ever giving his heart to anyone else, cemented in my mind the need to be honest with him.

There weren't many memories of being friendly with Jace when we were younger, but one plagued my mind every time I considered not telling him he truth about what happened after that night we spent together.

"_Jace, what are you doing up here by yourself?" I asked when I popped my head through the floorboard entrance of the large tree house my Dad and Luke had built for me and my friends, noticing Jace propped up in the corner, his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them as he scowled at me. _

"_What do you care, carrot top, why don't you just go play with your stupid friends?" _

_It wasn't anything new, I was used to the stupid nicknames everyone had given me that all related to my hair color in some way, so I ignored it. _

"_Well, I would, but one of my friends is sitting alone in my tree house acting like a baby" _

_Okay, so we weren't really "friends", but the moment he became part of the Lightwood's family, he became my friend whether he wanted to be or not. _

"_You're not my friend. I don't need any friends, and I definitely don't need the stupid Lightwoods" he said with a huff as he brushed his golden curls out of his face. "so, just go away you red headed freak."_

_Maybe it was the fact that I was born with a stubborn streak a mile long, but his words only made me push back. _

"_Everybody needs a friend Goldilocks" I said with a smile. _

"_Yeah, well I don't. Besides, Goldilocks is a girl, stupid." _

_He still wouldn't look at me. And it was getting tiring trying to make this boy see that I was just trying to be nice. _

"_Well then don't act like a girl" I spat back at him. It was something I'd heard my Dad say to Jon anytime he was whining and I thought maybe it would work on snapping Jace out of it like it did on my brother. It didn't. Instead, he just completely turned himself around, his back towards me and looked out the window. _

_I probably should have just left him there to sulk, but I couldn't help myself when I quietly asked "why don't you want friends, Jace? I could, um…be your…you know, I could be your friend if you want." _

_It stayed silent for several minutes, but I remained, sitting there with my legs crossed waiting for an answer from__him. When he finally figured out that I wasn't leaving until he told me he finally replied. _

"_I don't need more people to lie to me. All I need is myself, and I don't lie." _

_I scoffed, "I don't lie. Lying is bad, and my mom will take away my allowance if I lie." _

_The next words he spoke were hardly over a whisper, but I heard them all the same. _

"_Everyone lies, Red. My parents promised they'd never leave and they lied. The Lightwoods tell me everything is going to be fine…it's just another lie. So thanks, but no thanks on the friend thing." _

Remembering that conversation, and how important honesty is to Jace, I knew there was no way that I could be in any kind of relationship with him without telling him the truth. Sure, I probably should have told him a lot sooner, but we weren't even close to being friends…and besides, I wasn't entirely sure what the protocol was for informing your one-night-stand that they knocked you up. Especially when that person hated you, and didn't even remember you had been together.

I let out a deep sigh as I thought about all the possibilities that came with telling the truth. And as much as I wanted it to, I didn't see how it would have a good outcome. How could it when I went ahead and had sex with him again and again last night without saying anything...knowingly taking the risk of getting pregnant again. Wouldn't that just be another reason for him to feel he was betrayed?

"It is far to early in the morning for someone so beautiful to have such a scowl on their face, what's bothering you, baby?"

Jaces quiet words startled me and I pushed up from his chest, resting on my elbow as he ran his hand through my hair. I tensed at the touch and kept my eyes locked on the view of the horizon, feeling like I would break if I looked at him. I knew that I needed to stay strong, steady, and determined to get the words out.

"Clary..." he pleaded, moving his hand to the side of my face and turning it to face him, making it impossible to look anywhere but into his golden eyes. "You're not...I mean, you aren't regretting last night, are you?"

Oh God, how could he even think that for a second! Hearing this man, who was always so confident in his interactions with women, sounding the slightest bit insecure when it came to me, was heartbreaking.

I gave him a small smile, though it surely looked forced. "No, no regrets." I reached out a hand and rubbed it across his jaw, feeling the slight stubble that was growing there. "I told you, I love you...and I promise nothing will ever change that."

"Same" he said in response, with a bright smile on his face before he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. "So are you going to tell me what's bothering you?" He pressed.

I took a deep breath, pushing myself up to sit next to him, leaning against the pillows and picked at the cuticles around my nails while I tried to come up with the right words to say. Not that I believe there are any 'right words' that would somehow make this easier.

"Jace, there's something we need to talk about...something I need to tell you."

He chuckled and threw his arm around me, pulling me closer to him and kissing me on my temple.

"You do know that usually, when a woman says 'we need to talk', it means they're breaking up with you. Are you trying to get rid of me already?" The smirk was evident in his voice.

"No, but I can't guarantee that you won't want to get rid of me once I say this" I mumble through a sigh.

"I can tell you right now, that's not going to happen, but okay...we'll talk. Let's just order some breakfast, and then you can tell me whatever it is you need to tell me. Once you do, I'm dragging you back to this bed, and we're not leaving for the next few days. We've got nearly a week of honeymoon to make up for, ya know." He said, pushing himself up out of the bed, yanking his jeans back on and tossing a plain black t-shirt over his head.

Food. Yeah, food would be good. Though with my nerves at the moment, I'm not sure that anything would actually stay down. He grabbed his button up shirt from the floor and stood next to the bed holding it open for me, and I slid out of the bed, pulling it on over my shoulders and buttoning it up as he pushed my hair back behind my shoulder. He placed kisses behind my ear and down my neck, sliding his hand up under the hem of his shirt, grazing my thigh.

"You, Mrs. Herondale look absolutely stunning when you're naked, but damn, you in my shirt is fucking hot as hell" He whispered in my ear before grabbing my hand and pulling me out to the living room.

"So...what do you want for breakfast?" he smiled, handing me the room service menu.

* * *

While waiting for our food, we cuddled on the couch watching CNN to catch up on the news, though I couldn't really focus on anything they were saying. I was simply enjoying whatever moments I had left in his arms.

Call us the most mundane people in the world, but here we were, essentially on vacation on a tropic island, and we had the most boring and American breakfasts you could get. Both of us had scrambled eggs and toast, him with bacon, and me with sausage links. Jace also insisted that he just had to order a side dish of mango. Which finally explained why my mother always bought them, though no one in our family ever touched them.

Our conversation was minimal, sticking to only safe topics like the weather and different tourist spots that I had seen, and what he wanted to see for himself. It wasn't until we were almost done when things finally took on a more serious note.

"I know you have something you want to tell me" he started, "but there's something I think I should probably tell you too."

I simply nodded my head for him to continue. Nothing he could possibly tell me would be as bad as what I had to say to him, so I figured I'd let him get it out first.

"Well, the thing is...you know how you pretty much assumed that I was out getting laid every night we've been here?"

I nearly choked on my orange juice, but recovered quickly, wiping my mouth with the napkin before clutching it in my hand in my lap. I had no right to be jealous, we weren't anything then, but just the thought of him with other women made my hand tremble with the desire to smack him for having ignored me since we got here.

"Yes...go on" I said through clenched teeth.

"Well, I wasn't" he shrugged.

My eyebrows shot up and my jaw dropped a little. "What?"

"What, what?" he asked, looking up at me in confusion.

"What do you mean you weren't?"

He shrugged again and looked up at me, fork halfway to his mouth with a piece of mango barely hanging onto it.

"I mean I haven't actually had sex with anyone since we got on the island. Well, other than you."

I slumped back in the chair, elbow resting on the arm of it as I rubbed my forehead. How was that even possible when he's been gone every night, and there was no way I could have mistaken what I heard the first night we were here.

"But what about that girl?"

"What, soprano screamer?"

"Yeah, her." I ask with an eye roll.

"What can I say" he smirked "just because I didn't get anything, doesn't mean she left unsatisfied"

"Ewww, Jace, gross" I yelled, throwing my napkin at him as he laughed.

"Not what you were saying last night" he said, as he popped a piece of bacon in his mouth.

I ignored his jibing and pressed on needing more information to fully understand what he was saying.

"What about...you weren't here any of the other nights."

"I was, I waited until I knew you'd be asleep and then slept on the couch...which, you should have mentioned wasn't actually a pull out bed, the thing is damn uncomfortable."

"Yeah, but in the morni..."

He cut me off "In the morning I would get up early and head to the gym for a workout and to shower and change so that I wouldn't wake you up"

I sat there staring at him as all of it sunk in. "What have you been doing every day?" I asked quietly, now playing with my silverware trying to distract myself from the rapidly building feeling of guilt inside me.

"I've been at Hodges office. I've been learning everything, Clary. There's so many things I didn't know...so many ways I can make the office operate more efficiently. He's had me shadowing his lead guy."

Tears started welling up in my eyes and I was trying hard to keep them at bay, biting my lip nearly to the point of blood just to stop them.

When I didn't speak, he continued "I'm sorry if I made you feel like I didn't want you here, I just...that day, when you stood up to him for me...you believed in me so much, I guess I just wanted to prove to you that I was worthy of that. That I could do this on my own...for us. I thought maybe if I did that, then told you how I felt about you that it might, I don't know...increase my chances with you."

With that, the damn broke and the tears started flowing. How horrible was I? The whole time I only thought the worst of him, and yet the whole time all he was doing was trying to prove himself to me. I should have asked, given him a chance to explain...isn't that what I want from him? A chance. For him to hear me out and not just assume the worst.

I quickly wiped away the tears and took a deep breath, trying to settle the nausea that was overtaking me. Between the nerves of what I needed to tell him and learning all of this, it was taking its toll on my body. Unfortunately, no amount of deep breathing seemed to help and I jumped up from my chair, and ran to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before losing my breakfast.

It wasn't long before I felt him pull my hair back and rub his hand up and down my back in a comforting gesture. It was sweet, and thoughtful...things that I had never thought Jace capable of. The thought of how I had always been discounting him brought on another wave, and I continued to heave.

When I finally felt I was done, I sat back on my heels and Jace handed me a wet cloth for my face before leaning against the doorway with a smirk on his face.

"What?" I asked with a glare, wondering what he could possibly find funny at the moment.

"Oh nothing" he chuckled "guess my thoughts of a honeymoon baby weren't that far off"

For some reason his words hit the wrong nerve and I threw the wash cloth at him, watching him step quickly out of the way, letting it hit the floor next to him. Pulling myself up to the sink, I yanked out my toothbrush and toothpaste from the cup, scrubbing my teeth clean as if my life depended on it. When I looked up I could see him looking at me through the mirror, concern etched on his face.

"Don't be an ass, Jace" I mumbled around my toothbrush "it's not even possible for me to be pregnant that fast."

I rolled my eyes hoping that he would see that I wasn't really that mad at him. I rinsed my mouth and toothbrush, popping it back in the cup as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against he wall behind me, staring at the floor. The decent size bathroom suddenly felt overwhelmingly small as I looked at him standing there and realized that I had yet to tell him what I needed to.

Quickly I made my way out of the bathroom and back to the living room, where I started pacing the floor in front of the tv, holding my hair up off my neck while trying to wave myself cool with my hand.

"I'm sorry, I was just joking" Jace spoke as he walked towards me, stopping me when his hands found my hips. "I'm not naïve, you know" he said, pulling me closer to him "I may not have any kids, but that doesn't mean I don't know how this works". One of his hands moved up and caressed my stomach, and it was just too much. I couldn't take him not knowing a minute longer.

I stepped back from him, shoving his hand off of my stomach as I did. The brief look of shock and hurt on his face as I did so, only strengthened my resolve.

"Jace, I...I think you should sit down."

* * *

**So, there you have it. Jace's reveal...he didn't sleep with that girl...or any other ones! Were you expecting that? What did you think about Clary's reaction? I know a lot of you were immediately thinking...'she can't possibly be pregnant that fast'. LoL, just had to tease y'all with it since its one of the things that irritates me the most with some of the stories I read (have sex, immediately has symptoms). Don't worry, if Clary is ever pregnant in any of my stories, it will be thoroughly realistic.**

**So...guess it's time for Clary to spill. What are your predictions for Jace's reaction...will he stay, will he go, will he forgive her? So many possibilities. **

**Until next time...**

**Big shout out to two of my favorite authors, who are reading my story...IWriteNaked & Mina Lisly. You two are awesome, and I am truly humbled that you have taken an interest in my story. **

**Mina...sorry for making you miss your station, but I'm glad you are loving it. Kiss kiss bang bang ;)**

**IWriteNaked... You probably still hate Sebastian, though there's no mention of him in this chapter. I hope the humor in the drama meets your expectations :)**

**To everyone else that has taken the time to review, you have no idea how incredibly grateful I am every time you take a moment to tell me what you think of the story. It takes hours and hours to write each chapter, and make sure its 'just right' before posting, and all of your reviews keep me pushing on!**


	18. Chapter 17

**_This chapter mentions a coerced abortion. If this is not something you wish to read about, I completely understand...you should be able to skip this chapter without much affect to the overall story. That being said, if you wish to understand a little better why I chose to include it as part of this story, you can learn more in the A/N at the bottom. _**

* * *

"_Jace, I...I think you should sit down."_

* * *

"Ooookay" he said, eyebrow cocked in question. He reached out to bring me back into his arms and I threw my hands out stopping him.

"No, Jace...just don't. It's going to be hard enough to say this as it is, so can we please just sit."

"This sounds serious, Shorty" his features became a mix of confusion and worry, and I hated having to put him through this. But knew that I didn't have a choice. Finally, he sat on the couch, and rather than following and sitting next to him, I found myself sitting on the coffee table in front of him once again. I wanted him to be able to see me, read my face when I told him. Look in my eyes and see how affected I had been by this...that my hurting him wasn't intentional.

He took my hand in his and though I was tempted to pull away, I didn't, choosing instead to rely on the strength and steadiness I found there. Maybe for him it was the same.

"It is serious, Jace. I...I don't even know the right way to say this. But before I say anything, I just want you to know that I never meant for you to get hurt." At the words, he tried to pull back, but I gripped tighter to his hand, afraid he would walk off before I even had the chance to tell him everything. If there was one thing I knew for sure about Jace, it's that he would rather run away and ignore a problem, than to actually sit down and have to figure it out.

"What does that even mean, Clary?" he asked, his eyes focused on where our hands were joined as his thumb ran circles on the back of my hand.

"I'm getting there, I promise. I just need you to understand that I love you...I meant it when I said it. I just...I wish that things had been different for us, I mean, before."

He took a deep breath and looked up and into my eyes. Every bit of love he had for me could be so easily be seen there. Though there was something else I couldn't describe there with it.

"Clary, I love you too. So much. I don't know what happened, but I don't care. I don't want to know, please. Whatever it is, I forgive you. Let's just put the past behind us, and go back in that bedroom and hide under the covers for the rest of the day." He spoke softly, pleading with me. It would be easy to say yes, especially at the mention of spending more time in bed with him. My heart raced with the very thought of his hands roaming all over my body. His skills in the bedroom were unparallellejd. It was hard to stay focused.

"I wish I could do that. You have no idea how much I wish I could do that" I whispered. "But I can't be with you, and live with myself keeping this a secret. It was never meant to be a secret, and you deserve to know."

His brows furrowed, as he gripped my hand tighter in anticipation.

"Know what?" he asked.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, terrified of the idea of looking into his as he learned of my betrayal. It was so quiet in the room, you could hear a pin drop. Not even the waves crashing along the shore of the beach could be heard. Or maybe it was the overwhelming pounding in my head that was drowning everything else out.

"That night we were together...that night I got pregnant, Jace." I heard his sharp intake of breath and it forced my eyes to open and look at him. His eyes were wide, and his mouth kept opening and closing as if he was trying to get words out, but just couldn't find them.

I shook my head hoping to keep him quiet so I could continue, just as he finally spoke. "What...why..."

"Please, just let me get everything out" I interrupted him "when I'm done I'll answer any questions you have, but please just let me finish before I can't." It was then that I felt the first tears streaming from my eyes and quickly wiped them off with the back of my sleeved arm.

He nodded as the shocked looked started to dissipate from his face.

"Anyway, that night we were together I got pregnant. I found out just a couple weeks later, but didn't even think anything of it. I mean, I was with Seb, and you and I had only been together the one time. It wasn't until I had gone to the doctor for confirmation and they ran through the dates of when I could have possibly conceived and when the baby would be due that I realized you were the only possible option as the father. I should have told you...God, how I should have told you...I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself for not telling you."

I realized quickly that I was rambling and shook my head to clear my thoughts and focus before I continued. I still found that I couldn't look right at him and kept my eyes trained at the cheap, mass produced painting on the wall behind him.

"Anyway, I didn't know how to tell you. As far as I knew, you still hated me, and it was clear that you didn't remember anything about that night. So, I decided to just keep it quiet. I didn't care that I was lying to Seb, I knew he had lied to me so many times. All that mattered was that as soon as I knew I was pregnant, I loved that baby...so much. Then everything happened with Seb, and the wedding, and I was hurt and confused...even though I know I shouldn't have been. Then about a week after Seb and I ended things, he demanded that I meet with him about something important. Stupidly, I went."

As I spoke, the words brought me right back to that moment. Everything about that day will forever be etched into my mind. It was the day that I lost a part of my heart, a part of my soul and knew I would never be the same.

_I clutched the scrap of paper in my hand that had the address scribbled on it where Seb had told me to meet him. As I looked up at the building, checking the numbers against what I had written, I had a sudden feeling of dread wash over me. There was nothing out of the ordinary about the place...it was just an old, gray brick building, only a few stories tall and looked like a typical office building for this part of town. It wasn't a bad area...not seedy, but not the greatest either, and I couldn't figure out why it was so urgent to meet him here. _

_Ready to turn and walk away, trusting my instincts that I did not want to be there, I caught a glimpse of Sebastian from the corner of my eye as he walked out of the front door of the building, a smirk on his face, that reeked of evil. I backed up a couple of steps as he approached me, rubbing his hands together in front of him as if he was a child about to be given a present, but was abruptly stopped as I hit a firm wall. I quickly glanced behind me to see what I had run into and was stunned to see Seb's two "bodyguards", as he called them, standing there stoic faced waiting for his orders. _

_It was then that I knew the dread I was feeling was well placed. I quickly looked back at Seb, trying to step away from his lackeys when each of them gripped one of my arms. The fear and panic welled up into my throat, nearly cutting off my words as I tried to speak. _

"_What...what's going on Seb, why am I here? What do you want with me?" I questioned nervously as I tried, and failed to pull my arms from their grip. _

"_You, darling, have an appointment. And my friends here..." he nods at the men "Pangborn & Blackwell, well, they're here to ensure that you comply." _

"_I don't understand" _

"_Ahhh, Clarissa, Clarissa...when will you ever learn?" He breathed into my face as he swept a finger across my jaw, all while I tried to pull away from him. "Do you think that I am stupid?" _

"_What...no, of course not. Why..." _

_He cut me off "Yes you do. You seem to have underestimated me yet again. Did you not think that I would find out about your...delicate condition?" _

_I froze, almost literally as a chill ran through me at his words. Seb had almost never taken an interest in anything to do with me personally, and I didn't know how he could possibly know about the baby, but somehow he did. And I had a feeling things were only about to get worse. _

"_Cat got your tongue, Clarissa?" he snickered. _

"_What does it matter Seb, it's not your baby" I spat at him, trying with everything in me to fight against whatever it was he had planned. Maybe he wouldn't try anything if he knew the child wasn't his._

"_What does it matter? Oh, it matters...it matters a great deal that you think you could make a fool out of ME. I know exactly whose baby that is. I always knew there was something there between you and Herondale, even if you both acted otherwise." _

"_Again, why...do...you...care? It's over between us, you got what you wanted, you didn't have to marry me."_

"_Because, Clarissa. You had the nerve to think you could get away with passing that thing off as mine, that you could fool me into thinking that it was my heir. And because of that, you need to be taught a lesson. Not to mention that there's no way in hell I would ever let you give birth to a child that by all rights should have been mine had you kept your legs closed and stayed in my bed, where you belonged." _

_I suddenly started feeling lightheaded, realizing where this whole thing was headed as his words of not allowing the child to be born kept running through my head. _

"_I...I...I'm not getting rid of this baby, Sebastian. You can't do this. You can't make me do this." I cried, no longer able to hold back the tears. _

_He leaned in closer to my face and laughed sardonically. _

"_Yes, I can...and yes you will." _

"_What about..." I tried bringing up Jace, hoping that maybe he'd see how wrong this was, but was quickly interrupted. _

"_What about who? Jace?" He questioned, and I nodded in response _

"_I wouldn't worry about him, this is what he wants anyway." The nonchalant shrug he gave as he stepped back was like a slap in the face. He had told Jace? Jace knew he was doing this to me and was okay with it? I hadn't planned on telling Jace at all, but never in a million years imagined that he would be so cruel and heartless had I decided to. _

"_What do you mean?" _

"_Oh, we had a nice conversation about your little situation. He completely agreed that aborting is the only option. We had a good laugh, actually...just like old times, before you fucked it all up." _

_I flinched, not even trying to hide the tears or the pain I felt as I realized that I was completely and totally alone. Sebastian was here and was going to kill my baby...my baby, Jace's baby...and it's what Jace wanted. Though I hadn't planned on telling him, there was still part of me that liked to fantasize about a time when he would know his son or daughter. A time when we could find some kind of common ground and happiness in raising our child together, even if only as friends. And all of this just proved how much of a fantasy it actually was. Jace didn't want me...he never did, and he never would. _

_They had laughed about it. It was one of the best nights of my life, and Jace had found it fit to laugh about with his old buddy...who he hadn't had a use for in years. Jace had been so different from what I expected that night. He was tender and gentle, and yet rough and passionate when I wanted him to be. Now, I just wondered if it wasn't all a set up from the beginning. One big joke between guys. _

_I shivered as Sebastian's arm came down around my shoulders as he pushed me towards the doors and the bodyguards released me but stayed close behind. _

"_Now, let's go" he spoke, as he gripped my shoulder roughly "this doctor isn't cheap and I don't particularly feel like spending any more money than I have to on trash like you" _

_There was nothing left to say. No fight left in me. I would walk into the building a mother, and come out childless and truly alone. _

As I came out of the memories and finished my story, I could feel myself shaking as the tears poured freely from my eyes. Only when I opened my eyes and looked down did I see that at some point, Jace had dropped my hand. I looked up quickly to find his head bent down, elbows propped on his knees as his fingers gripped his hair as if he was about to rip it out. His breathing was ragged, and I was just waiting for the moment he was going to blow up at me and tell me what a horrible person I was.

I waited and waited for him to say something, anything. And when I just couldn't take the silence anymore I finally spoke, placing my hand gently on his arm. The touch he jerked away from instantly as if I had burned him.

"Jace...please, say something. Scream at me, tell me you hate me, but please...please just say something" I begged.

Instead of speaking though, he stood and looked down at me. His eyes were glassy and void of any clear emotion as he hesitated just a moment before turning and walking towards the glass doors that led to the back patio and our own little swath of beach. I followed, watching as he closed the door behind him and walked towards the water, until he stopped part way there and dropped into the sand. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, hiding his head in his arms. I could see his body shaking...hurt...damaged...broken...betrayed. I did this to him. I took a strong man back to the boy I met as a child.

I put my hand on the glass and leaned my forehead against it as I continued to cry. For him, for me...for our baby.

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_**I know a lot of you were really hoping to get Jace's reaction this chapter. You do see a little bit of it, but still have no idea what he's thinking or feeling. I felt the flashback was necessary for you to get the full picture of exactly what Sebastian did to her.**_

_**I also know that some of you may be appalled by my including such a controversial topic in my story. Unfortunately it's a reality for some. As someone who has dealt with being coerced into having an abortion at the age of 19, I want to make others aware that it does happen...and if you find yourself in a similar situation, don't be afraid to fight for what YOU want. Don't be afraid, when they ask you if you're being coerced, of telling the truth...they will help you. For more information, search ' '.**_

_**On a lighter note...I hope that those of you who aren't downright disgusted with me, liked the chapter. I will try to not keep you waiting too long for Jace's reaction. Again, I thank you all for the reviews...keep them coming!**_


	19. Chapter 18

_**Alright, I just couldn't keep you all waiting so I pushed to get this finished and posted today. This chapter is a bit shorter than some of the others, but I needed it to end where it does to make the next chapter flow right. Hopefully, you're all satisfied with the fact that I chose to do this chapter in Jace's POV. I knew from the beginning that this part needed his POV to truly understand what he goes through as a result of learning the truth. You'll also get a little background on the Jace/Sebastian dynamic.**_

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I don't even know how long I've been sitting out here. Maybe an hour...maybe five. The tears finally stopped a while ago. I don't think there are any left to cry. I'm not an overly emotional person, in fact usually, I do everything I can to keep from showing them. But this...this was just too much.

Clary was pregnant. With my baby. Our baby. I could have been a father. He or she would be four years old now. Ever since the day my parents died, all I ever wanted was a family. Not that the Lightwoods didn't do an excellent job of providing a substitute for me, but that's what they would always be. It's not as if I loved them any less than I loved my own parents. I know that blood doesn't make a family, but the fact that I had a chance to have a family that was mine...my blood, my genes...and it was taken away from me, is almost too much for me to handle. And knowing that Verlac had a hand in it, makes it even worse. I swear the next time I lay eyes on him, he's dead. Life in prison would be worth it, to rid this world of that monster once and for all.

I know I should have said something to her. Anything to comfort her, but I couldn't. The whole time she was telling me the story of what had come of that night we were together, and everything she had been put through because of it, all I wanted to do was hold her in my arms and tell her it was going to be okay. That I didn't blame her. That it was that bastard Sebastian that did this. But I didn't. I knew that if I were to touch her...hold her, that I would break. She doesn't deserve that.

She's already had to put up with so much because of my stupidity, my inability to remember what happened that night, that she doesn't need to be burdened even further with me having a breakdown in front of her. I hate that she blames herself for this. Doesn't she see that if there's anyone to blame, it's me? If only I had remembered the next morning what had transpired that night...how it felt being with her. I would have begged her to stay, to leave Verlac and be with me. If I had, I would have known that she was pregnant. I could have protected her from that disgusting piece of shit.

I wish he had never laid a hand on Clary, ever. I had tried so hard to keep them from being together in high school, but he went after her just to spite me. I told him she was off limits, and that as my friend I expected him to respect that. That our friendship would be over if he did. I should have known better. All that did was make Clary a challenge to him. I remember him telling me over and over again that the only reason I had a problem with them being together was because I wanted her for myself but was too pathetic to man up and take what I wanted. As if she was some kind of prize or possession to be had.

No, it wasn't like that, although now, who knows...maybe I really was just a chicken shit back then. But in my mind, protecting Clary from someone I knew would only use her and hurt her was my way of repaying a debt. She had once extended the offer to a very scared little me to be my friend. I hadn't taken her up on the offer, but had been more than grateful that she had tried.

As much as I know it's pointless to dwell in the past. In light of all of this, I can't help myself. I've probably spent equal amounts of time out here imagining different ways to kill Sebastian, how to make this up to Clary, and how I wish I could go back in time and change things. Getting caught up in the 'what if's' is usually a dangerous game, but how could I not wonder how things might be different if I wouldn't have pushed her away that day in the tree house. Would we have been just friends, or maybe best friends...maybe she would have been my first kiss, my first lover...my first love? Maybe we would have listened to everyone telling us how perfect we were together and I would have married her the second we were old enough and now we'd have a house full of children together.

I hate having regrets. But maybe now I could make the pain of having them less. Clary loves me...if I had any doubts before, I don't now. And I love her. I know without question that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. That I want her to be the mother of my children, and by my side as our children get married and give us grandchildren.

I was about to get back up to go tell her all of it, when I sensed her presence behind me. I remained in place and it took several minutes before she finally sat in the sand beside me, leaving a good foot and a half of space between us. I hated even that little bit of separation, but waited for her to speak, not wanting to push her before she was ready.

It wasn't long before she let out a long sigh as she dug her bare toes into the sand. "I have an hour before I need to be at the airport. I just wanted to come tell you goodbye, and tell you again how sorry I am. I'm sure this thing with Hodge is going to work out fine for you, but don't worry about our deal. I don't deserve that kindness from you."

I chuckled, shaking my head as I rested it on my arms that were laid across my knees. Leave it to Clary to try to make some big gesture to make up for things she has no business blaming herself for in the first place. I heard her shift as if she was about to get up, and my hand shot out, laying on her thigh to keep her from going anywhere.

Looking over at her, she was wide eyed as she looked between my hand and my face. I gave her my signature smirk, trying to put her at ease.

"Why do you keep trying to leave me?" I asked, rubbing my thumb over her exposed skin.

"I just thought...I figured you wouldn't want to see me anymore." She said with a shrug as she bit her lip.

I sighed, exasperated with this girl who just didn't seem to understand that how I felt about her, superseded anything that would try to come between us. I leaned over towards her and moved my arm to wrap around her waist before pulling her over to me so that she was straddling my lap. Her hands settled onto my shoulders, steadying herself there. Clearly it had already been too long since I had her, as my dick jumped at twitched at her closeness. I laughed a little at the thought, but pushed it out of my mind...that would have to wait until I made her understand.

My hands held her face so that she couldn't look away. "Why?" I asked, "Because I'm supposed to hate you for something that wasn't your fault?"

"That's just it Jace, it is my fault. I gave up. I knew what he was doing was wrong, and I just gave up."

"Clary, that _boy_ is a monster. I have no doubt that if you hadn't gone along with it, he still would have found a way to get what he wanted, only you might not have survived it." The very thought made my heart clench.

"Maybe it would have been better if I hadn't" she mumbled quietly "I killed our baby, Jace."

My hands gripped behind her neck. "No, don't you ever, ever say that. You did what you had to do, and you are not a killer. Sebastian is a killer...that doctor, who took an oath to never harm anyone, took money knowing that you were being forced into it...he's a killer. You are not."

I kissed her quickly before pulling back and continuing. "Do I wish you would have told me? God, yes I do, if for no other reason than I could have protected the two of you. I hate myself for not remembering that night back then. I wish I knew why I didn't. I know I was drunk, but I swear even on my drunkest nights I usually remember things in the days after...not five years later." I moved my hand from her neck, sliding it down her side until I came to the hem of her t-shirt and slid my hand beneath it, resting it on her stomach.

"You have to know though, Clary, I would have never asked you to do that. He lied to you. Had I known, I would have been there for you and the baby in whatever way you would have allowed me to be. I would have loved that baby with everything I am."

A tear slid down her cheek and I gently kissed it away, tasting the salty sweetness on my lips.

"I know, I know now that he lied...I should have known then. All he did was tell me lies. I should have known that you, of all people, wouldn't have been like that."

"I know, baby" I whispered, pulling her against my chest. "I'm sorry for what he did to you, but I promise you, right here and now that I'm going to make him pay for it, Clary. And you and I, we're going to take back the life we were meant to have. He's not going to win this one."

"Thank you, Jace...for forgiving me. I love you" she whispered against my neck before placing a kiss there...and then another, and another.

I let my hand trail up and down her back lightly as she continued, I knew exactly where there was going but there was something that I needed to do first. I pulled back from her, keeping one hand locked on her hip, and the other I brought up to her face, caressing her cheek. She smiled sheepishly at me but kept her eyes on mine.

"There's nothing to forgive, you did nothing wrong and while I would love to continue this, there's something I need to ask you first."

"Okay" her smile brightened "ask away."

I pulled the small box out of my pocket that I had put in there this morning while we were waiting for our breakfast to arrive. I'm not sure when Mayrse had done it, but when we got here I found it packed in my suitcase along with a short note in Mayrse's handwriting _'For when you know it's real ~Mom'. _Tucked away in the box were my parents wedding rings. I don't know how she knew I would finally wake up and realize what I wanted while we were on this trip, but I was grateful all the same.

Clary gasped as I opened the box to face her. They weren't extravagant. My father hadn't been wealthy when he met and decided to marry my mother, but they were beautiful in their simplicity. He had wanted to buy her new ones when they had finally made the business a success, but she had refused, saying that she loved the ones she had and always wanted to remember where they came from.

She was biting her lip nervously, and I ran my thumb across her lip, pulling it away from her teeth before resting it back on her cheek.

"Clary Morgenstern Herondale, almost twenty years ago you asked to be my friend and I stupidly said no. I've done a lot of other really dumb things when it comes to you since then, but I hope that I'm finally getting something right. So, now I'm asking you to be my friend...but not just my friend...my best friend, my partner, my lover, my everything for as long as you'll have me. I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there is life after that, I'll love you then. Would you please, please do me the great honor of marrying me" I paused and laughed lightly before adding on "for real this time."

She sat there looking stunned, mouth agape as she stared at the rings. And in the moment, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the possibility that she might say no.

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_**Review, review, review my lovelies! I have 190 right now and would love to get to 200 with this chapter!**_

_**Is this how you expected things to go? Is Clary going to say yes? Was the real proposal good enough? Any thoughts on the fact that Jace tried to keep Sebastian/Clary apart from the beginning?**_


	20. Chapter 19

_**Hello my readers! Apologies for disappearing this week, it's been a rough one for me and no matter how many times I tried to write this, it just wasn't happening. Then I finally figured out the problem, this chapter absolutely did not want to be in Jace's POV no matter how much I tried to force it to happen. So, trust me when I say that just because I'm not updating, doesn't necessarily meant I'm not working on it. I want it to be perfect for all of you, and sometimes, it takes a little while to make it happen. **_

_**This week I've also been working out outlines for two entirely new Clace stories that I'm really excited about because I don't believe I've read anything similar to either of them. Don't worry, this doesn't mean I'm leaving this story unfinished...in fact I'm trying really hard to get this wrapped up by the end of this month. Why? Well because it's almost time for...NANOWRIMO, and this year, instead of diligently working on my book (shame on me) I'm going to be committing my 50,000 words in a month to a brand new Clace fanfic. Still have't decided which story I'm going to go with, but maybe I'll write out the summaries, put it to a vote and let all of you awesome people decide which one I write. **_

_**Now...on to the story!**_

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I'm absolutely sure that I looked like an idiot sitting on Jace's lap, jaw dropped. This definitely was not what I was expecting...at all. None of this has gone how I expected.

When he walked out that door and down to the beach, leaving me behind in tears, I thought for sure that was the end. I would have understood if it was. I had even gone so far as to finish packing up the last few items I had in the bathroom after showering and getting dressed and had my bags sitting by the door ready to go. If it had been me in his position...having been lied to about something so important for so long, I wouldn't have wanted to see them for a while. Have room to think, and to breathe without them around waiting to see how I'm going to respond.

By the time I was ready to go, Jace had been sitting in the sand for several hours. I was about to head for the airport when I crossed the living room one last time, and took in the sight of him sitting there, alone. It truly broke my heart to think that my actions had just completely voided out any progress we had made the night before, but knew I had no one to blame but myself. I figured I at least owed him a proper goodbye and another apology before I took off, letting him wonder where I went or when or if I'd be back...but I truly never thought that it would lead to this moment.

As I stared into his eyes, in complete shock at what he had asked, I was surprised to see that there was no reservation there, just total love. I knew there was only one answer I could give him.

"No," I said firmly, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him against me, my lips right at his ear. I had seen his face fall and his brows furrow in confusion at my response and it took everything in me not to bust out laughing.

"No?" He questioned as his grip on me loosened.

I leaned back to look in his eyes once again. "No, it wouldn't be your honor I would be granting by marrying you, it would be mine. The fact that despite everything I've told you today, and everything I've done towards you in the past, you love me and still want me makes me the lucky one here."

He went to speak but I stopped him, placing my thumb over his lips before I continued, "and that's okay, because I'm selfish...because I don't deserve you. But I love you, and I want you...I want to be your best friend, your lover and your everything...for as long as _YOU_ will have _me_, and _I_ would be honored to be your wife."

I barely got the last word out before his lips were on mine, and his grip on my hips tightened, pulling me down onto his rapidly growing hardness that pushed right against me, only the thin fabric of my shorts separating us from where we both wanted him to be. Before I could even register what was happening, he had me laid out in the sand beneath him, attacking my neck with his lips as his hand traveled up the back of my thigh just under my shorts when he hitched it up around his waist. As his other hand moved up my waist under my shirt, I knew we were about to hit a point of no return, and as much as I wanted him...I certainly didn't want to do it on a beach in broad daylight where anyone could walk by. Granted, we were on the side of the hotel that faced the private beach, only accessible by those with rooms on it, but it wasn't a chance I was about to take.

Pushing my hands against his chest, he finally drew back and searched my face looking confused as to why I was stopping him. I chuckled. 'Jace, we're still on the beach, and I don't know about you but I'm not into being an exhibitionist."

His head dropped to my shoulder as he laughed before pulling back and settling on his knees as he pulled me up with him. "Sorry about that, guess I kind of got carried away when you said yes." Seeing him smile so genuinely made my heart skip. Never in a million years did I imagine that I would be someone that could put that smile on his face.

He picked up the ring box from the sand where it had fallen next to us and brushed it off, opening it once again and pulling the engagement ring out and took my hand in his. It was beautiful, very simple, but beautiful. As desperate as I was to have that ring take the place of the fake bridal set that currently decorated my finger, I knew that it would go against our plan to make Hodge believe we were already married.

I put my hand over his as he moved to remove the set that was in the way. "I can't wear that now, it would ruin the plan" I whispered. He looked up at me, his face hard set and his jaw clenched. He brought the engagement ring up between us and held it tightly with his fingers. "This ring..." he started, but paused as he took a deep breath. "This ring was my mothers, not Mayrse...Celine. You just agreed to be my wife, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let some fake garbage that my sister picked out be on your finger when this is the done you were meant to have."

His harsh tone startled me slightly, so I kept my mouth shut as he pulled the fake set from my finger and replaced it with his mother's ring. The second the words came from his mouth...that it was his mother's...I should have known what a big deal this was to him. Though he had been my brother's best friend for years, Jonathan once told me that Jace had never even mentioned his parents and shut him down anytime he tried to ask about them.

Once the ring was firmly in place, he lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it, looking up at me with a smirk on his face. "Screw the plan. Now, if you don't mind, I'm starving from sitting out here in the sun all day, and I'd like to take my fiance to dinner." He grabbed my hand and pulled me up with him, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as we made our way back to our room, my stomach rumbling in agreement with Jace's need for food. I pouted, not wanting to leave our little bubble any time soon.

"What's wrong baby?" he asked as soon as we walked through the door, apparently noticing my forlorn expression.

"Nothing, it's just that I was hoping we could just order room service or something. I'm not really in the mood to get all dressed up, and I kind of want to keep you all to myself for a little while longer" I leaned up on my toes and gave him a quick kiss.

He turned and stood in front of me, pushing my back against the now closed glass door and leaned down, kissing me just below my ear sending a shiver down my spine as his warm breath caressed my skin when he spoke. 'Mmmm...dinner with you, all by ourselves. Sounds even better. Then I don't have to wait for desert." He pulled back and winked at me, grabbing my hand and pulling me over to the couch and pushing me down onto it. Leaning over he kissed me quickly on the lips and handed me the remote telling me to find something to watch while he looked for the menu.

It wasn't long before it was found and we were sitting in front of the tv, laughing and giving ridiculous answers to questions on Jeopardy while stuffing our face with burgers and fries. When we were done eating, we laid out on the couch, me tucked comfortably between Jace and the back of the couch with my head resting on his chest as he flipped through the channels. Eventually he gave up on finding anything worth watching and clicked the tv off.

There was something about laying here with him like this in the silence that felt so normal. As if we had been doing it for years. It brought a deep sense of peace and contentment as he ran his fingers through my hair, and I traced circles over his chest with my fingers. The light from the other room glinting off the diamond in my ring every time I would turn it a certain way made me smile at the thought that soon I would really be his wife.

"Hey Jace" I whispered, and his hand stopped on my head waiting for me to continue "when do you want to get married?"

"Well, if I had my choice I'd sneak us off somewhere right this second and make you mine, but something tells me our families would actually like to be there...especially since we kind of cut them out of the fake wedding."

I laughed and raised my head to look at him, and he leaned forward and placed a kiss on my forehead. "Yeah, I if my dad hadn't known that it wasn't a real wedding, he probably would have lost his shit at thought of not getting to 'give-away' his only daughter."

"Uh, yeah...I love Valentine and all, but I don't think I'd want to see that wrath...or have any of it directed at me." Jace laughed, then pulled me up so that both our heads were resting on the arm of the couch, face to face. His hand brushed over my hip and up to my bare waist below my shirt. Every touch of his on my skin hummed and buzzed with energy, and it made it incredibly difficult to focus on what we were talking about.

"What about October?" I asked breathlessly as he leaned forward and nudged my hair back from my neck and started sucking and kissing me there.

"Mmmm" he hummed "why October?"

"Because whenever I dreamed about getting married, I wanted it to be in October. All the fall colors are so beautiful."

He pulled back from me quickly, eyebrows raised, and I was sure of what he was thinking...that me and Sebastian's wedding had been planned for July, not October. I shook my head. "I never got to pick the date last time. He came up with it, Izzy said that would work, and I pretty much just went along with it."

"Oh." He said, as he raised his hand to my face, pushing a stubborn curl back from my eyes. "Did you even want to marry him?"

"Yes, and no." I answered, but decided to elaborate when I saw the confused look on Jaces' face. "I cared about him, and wanted to marry him because I figured that it was just the next natural step for us. But I think deep down I knew that I wasn't _in love _with him. It's probably why even though I suspected that he had cheated on me, I never really tried to find out. I got comfortable...complacent. At least I had somebody. He did a damn good job of making me feel like I'd never be good enough for anyone else."

"You know that's not true now though, right?" Jace asked, his lips brushing over mine as he spoke.

"I'm trying to." I smiled and pressed my lips to his.

"Good, because I don't want...I mean, you're not marrying me because you feel like you have to, right?"

"What? No, of course not." I smacked his chest lightly for even thinking such a thing. "I'm completely in love with you, Jace. You're the one I want to fall asleep with every night, and wake up next to every morning. I want to build a life with you, try to have kids with you, if I can. I want to grow old with you, and I want to do all of it as your wife."

His forehead touched mine as he rubbed his thumb over my cheek gently. "I know you're worried Clary, I can see it in your eyes. I know you feel like because of what happened before, you're not going to be able to get pregnant, but I don't believe that for a second. But even if it were true, it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I would love to have lots of little baby Herondales running around, but I would never leave you if it didn't happen. I love _you, _I want _you_, everything else would just be a really big bonus. Besides, we could always adopt...give another child a family like Mayrse and Robert gave me when I had no one."

How was it that Jace always seemed to know the perfect thing to say at the perfect moment. This is why I love him. I brought my lips to his and kissed him hard, putting everything I felt into it. I hoped that he could feel how his words had made my heart feel as if it was going to explode. I grabbed the edge of his shirt and quickly pulled it over his head, throwing it the floor and started working on his jeans...only finding myself more and more frustrated as my hands trembled while I tried to undo the button.

He rolled us so that he was hovering over top of me, his lips never leaving mine as he reached between us and undid the button for me shoving them off of himself and then immediately sliding his hands up under my shirt, impatiently pulling my bra up and over my breasts, not even taking the time to undo the clasp. His hands gripped them firmly and massaged them, his lips leaving mine to take one in to his mouth. I moaned loudly as his teeth grazed over my nipple, his fingers never leaving the other as the heat built up and pulsed through my core, drenching me more and more with each touch.

I grabbed my shirt and bra and pulled them off and went straight for my shorts, desperate to have every part of my body touching his, skin on skin. His hands stopped me halfway there as he pushed them firmly down against the couch by my head and he started kissing my neck. "That's my job" he whispered, and I could feel the smirk on his face against my skin, and I nodded. He moved down, kissing as he went until he got to my stomach. He paused for a moment and looked up into my eyes, mouthing the words 'I love you', and before I could return them he had his head down on my stomach for several minutes before giving me a single kiss there before sitting back and pulling my shorts and panties off at once. The sweetness, the tenderness of that moment...almost as if he spoke a silent prayer, broke me and I couldn't stop the tears from coming.

He came back up and wiped the tears from my face, as he feathered kisses on my eyelids, my nose and finally my mouth, where his tongue entered and began its slow, steady dance with my own. When we finally pulled away for air, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, keeping him close to me as I whispered in his ear. "Jace, please...I need you." He pulled back and locked eyes with me as he entered me slowly, filling me in a way that I had never been before.

There was something different about this time. Different from last night or five years ago. This was us, coming together completely in love with each other and on the same page...soon, I would really be his wife, and he would really be my husband.

Finally, there were no more secrets or lies between us, only love and hope for our future.

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_**So, was it everything you hoped it would be? Maybe a little cheesy? I don't know...I love it, but I'm a big ole' cheese-ball when it comes to romance. What do you want to happen next? Will there be little baby Herondales? What was your favorite part? **_

_**Hit me with the feedback peeps! It keeps me writing, and I secretly do a little happy dance every time someone takes the time to tell me what they think about it ;) (Yes, I'm 30 and I still happy dance :P )**_


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